The time has come...

for...

Old Wives Tale?

My brother, who lives in Southern California) called me last night and somehow after a bit the discussion deteriorated to spiders (he was bitten by a brown recluse a couple of years ago, hence his interest in poisonous insects). Anyway, he said something about a tarantula, the bite of which can cause painful erections in human males...for hours. Naturally, I challenged this as one more of his...well...fabrications.

So, as soon as I could, I turned to your friend and mine...Google, and googled in tarantulas and erection. Tarantulas came up...erections came up...but nothing about a connection of the two.

So I read an article about tarantulas HERE: http://www.indepthinfo.com/articles/tarantulas.shtml

Here is the relevant excerpt, if you don't feel like reading the entire article:

Tarantulas get their name from the city of Taranto in Italy. Beginning in the year 1370 and for about three hundred years thereafter there was an epidemic of spider bites during the harvest season in the farming areas around the city. The bites were thought to be produced by the "tarantula". The only cure for the bite was supposed to be to dance vigorously in a gyration called the tarantella. Those bitten were called called the tarantati. Paul Hillyard in "The Book of the Spider", tells us that those bitten suffered "severe pain and swelling, muscle spasms, vomiting, palpitation, fainting, priapism (involuntary erections), shameless exhibitionism, acute melancholia, and delirium, leading to death if untreated."

Priapism? Well hells bells as they say down in the trailer park. That lead me to this site, the article of which you are going to have to read yourself...I don't want to clutter my beautiful blog space: HERE.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapism

If that didn't scare the shit out of all males out there from the ages of 18-67 reading this, I don't know what will. The belows and overs will probably be wanting to know WHERE to get one of these spiders.

But after further investigation, it turns out the tarantula is getting a bum rap. The spider that CAN cause priapism---not to mention, death---is the Brazilian Wandering Spider. And HERE is everything you need to know about that cutie. Of course if you live in Australia, you have an equally nasty little bugger of your own. I can't attest to the Aussie spider's erection capabilities, though.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazilian_wandering_spider

I don't know about you, but I am canceling my planned trip up the Amazon...and giving up bananas.

OK, my brother's story was only half fabricated.

I am not kidding...

My brother just emailed me that Michael Jackson died today. That's all I know.

Will you remember where you were when Michael Jackson died? I bet you will.

Not much for me to say at this point...YOU know I will later. Except, I look at that photo on the right and think, how sad that cute, talented kid grew up to become a bad parody of himself.

Later.

Just Dessert Award #2

It's time for another...Just Dessert Award.

The subject today speaks for itself. No elaboration needed from me.



The award goes to...Etsy.com for it's...Coffin Soooooofa

From its website, the following is offered:

Why not enjoy the comfort of the afterlife today? Through the miracle of modern carpentry you too can have your own little piece of heaven. This little gem has a velvet covered thick foam cushion and classic metal spring construction seat. It folds up to a fully shut position.Available in purple, red,or black fabric. Drop me a line for more information.


Sigh...if they just had it in Mediterranean Blue, I could be enjoying it today. Shit, I so had my heart set on it.

Happy Vater's Day and other news...

Happy Father's Day to all you dad's everywhere. I hope your children bring you as much joy as mine...enjoy your children and they will enjoy you.

And now for a sensitive and smooth transition, other news.

JadedJ reporting out here on the plain Plains, where everyone except me is of Teutonic origin...i.e., fair skinned...white as a Limbaugh baby's ass.

The news is, the weather has been struggling to reach Summer temps for the last couple of weeks here. Last week it was barely in the 60s, and cool 60s at that. The past couple of days we've reached 85F or so, and still not really hot. But enough to put away the jackets and long pants.

And then...and then...tomorrow, the prediction is...99F for sure...and...possibly...up to 107F. Yes...from basically 60F to 107F in one week. It is to continue for the balance of the week!

In fact a heat wave warning has been issued by the authorities. Stay inside if possible. How cheering.

I heard people rumbling in the grocery store yesterday something about the Rapture and end times, when the weather becomes screwy...and if what I described above is not screwy, then Barbara Bush birthed some mighty fine leaders of men. Fact is, my grocery bill was more than double the predicted temps...and I'm not too sure I wouldn't welcome the Rapture, just to keep down my grocery bill (see, the joke is, one doesn't need food up there...see? And don't ask me about the streets paved with gold, and why would they be paved with gold if there were no grocery bills...just don't go there, OK?.)

Here is a photo of what we are expecting BEGINNING tomorrow, and for the rest of the week. A shot of Nebraska's State Capital, aka, the Penis of the Plains...as it melts into oblivion. Which, come to think of it...nah...I'm not going to say it...I gotta live here with these capital-loving, sunburned people.

You gotta click on it to actually see the melting.