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Head Up My Arse Award

NOTICE-THIS IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY TONGUE-IN-CHEEK BLOG.

The B of Q awards committee got together over the weekend at our local quicky stop, Kum and Go. Not making it up dudes and dudettes...really...not kidding...Kum and Go. Basically, I NEVER go to Kum and Go, just as I NEVER went to In and Out Burger in California when I lived there. It's just wrong to frequent establishments that name themselves after bodily, you know...things, particularly eateries...I can't eat a burger which has been in and out...of what I can imagine...as I am sure can you. This is definitely a fast food place that you DON'T want to piss off the clerk.

Back to Kum and Go and our awards committee, Bonzo and Ronnie. It has been quite some time since we have given out this award, and after much scratching and picking of fleas from one another, and a couple of bottles of Wild Turkey in a brown bag around back of the K & G, behind the dipsy dumpster, they came up with several people who they felt were deserving of the B of Q Head-Up-My-Arse Award...a prestigious and sought out award which can't be bought in stores, or on late night television. Well, we were actually approached once by Billy Mays, but the deal fell through when he dropped dead of some unknown substance. Oh well, maybe the lottery will come through.

So the nominees were:

The Dallas Police Department for issuing tickets to Latinos for not speaking English. But best of all, the Dallas police chief for denying he knew anything about it. The tickets were issued in addition to being stopped for minor traffic violations. Incidentally, 44% of Dallas residents are...Latinooooooo. Yep. What the hail were they thinking.

Taos, NM, new hotel owner Larry Whitten who demanded that his staff change their Spanish names to Anglo names. In addition he decreed that they not speak Spanish, as he thought they were hostile to his management style and would start talking about HIM. No shit Larry.

He then stated that, “It has nothing to do with racism. I’m not doing it for any reason other than for the satisfaction of my guests." And I am de bosso, taco eaters!

After an uproar in the local paper by town's people, Whitten declared that Taos residents were basically "mountain people” and “potheads who escaped society”. I'll toke to that!

The people of Taos are less than happy with Larry. Larry, what the hail were you thinking?

And then of course, my favorite overfed, fatass, pants on fire, pillhead and molester of sheep...the Rush. Yes indeed, Rush Limpballs, the working man's Don Quixote...who happens to have enough spare change to try to buy into an NFL football team. Nice try Ruskie.

So what did the Great Fabricator do now? Not much, he read on the air, an Internet satire piece that claimed President Obama dissed the Constitution in his college thesis at Columbia University. The mouth read this on the air and presented it as authentic.

OK, he got sucked in. Could happen to anybody, especially anybody who doesn't let facts get in the way of, well...the truth and ratings...and higher fees for commercials...and pocket change for buying sports teams. Limbaugh, a real asset to the country, telling it like it is.

But here is the part that gives us the real measure of the man, and HIS crusade for the Amurican people. After being informed that this was a satirical piece and that he owed the president an apology...know what he said? He said, and I paraphrase, that even though it wasn't the truth, he, Limbaugh knows...KNOWS mind you, that this is what the president THINKS. So he is not going to apologize.

Now, I ask you, who do YOU think deserves this award the most? Well, it took the committee, a nano second to decide this one.

RUSH, the motherfucker...the man who wants to fuck his mother...in the arse...but settles for male sheep instead...and sometimes vacuum cleaners. Oh, not true you say? Fuck it. I know he THINKS it. So I stand by my statement.

Calm. Me. Down. Now

Sometimes when I feel a rage for whatever happens to be pissing me off at the time. I stop and play this. The most beautiful and calming Adagio in G Minor. Also known as the happiest piece of music on earth =). Credits go to Remo Giazotto and Tomaso Albinoni. Performed by the Orpheus Chamber Orchestra

Try it.

Back. Great Idea. Unfinished Award

NOTICE-THIS IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY TONGUE-IN-CHEEK BLOG.
Note-that is an actual photo of me on Saturday over there on the right. Autographed copies available (sterilized for a fee).

Some unfinished business, as the result of my mysterious malady. Incidentally, I am better, although the damned cough just won't go away. We are not sure if we had the piggy thing, or just plain ol' flu. Basically, after a call to our girl's doc, we were told not to bring them in, as there is a lot of flu going on out here on the plain plains. We were just to keep a watch on them...and us...and, of course, we got it also. Whatever the deuce we had, it was unpleasant...plain ol' or not.

AN IDEA WHOSE TIME HAS COME - Or the guy is ferkin BRILLIANT:

I received a email from a friend today about a Louisiana Representative who has introduced a bill in the house which...well, here is the email:

Congressman John Fleming ( Louisiana physician) has proposed an amendment that would require congressmen and senators to take the same health care plan they force on us (under proposed legislation they are curiously exempt).

Congressman Fleming is encouraging people to go on his Website and sign his petition (very simple - just first, last and email). I have immediately done just that at: http://fleming.house.gov/index.html . Please urge as many people as you can to do the same!

If Congress forces this on the American people, the Congressmen should have to accept the same level of health care for themselves and their families.

Since this appeals to my nastier, vindictive, ironic irony self, I wasted no time linking over there and signing. How about you?

ONE MORE PIECE OF UNFINISHED BUSINESS:

A week or so ago I received a Best Blog Award from Holte Ender. As events would have it, I never got back to awarding it to a few others. To correct that, the following fine bloggers are so awarded...by moi. Check them out if you aren't already following. These are just four of my favorites among literally dozens. Oh, and I didn't bother with certain pooh pooh awards types...most of you who come here regularly know who I'm talking about...absurdly, walking, termitely mean bloggers...no names though.


the mom at Attentive Aphorist - A classy liberal, pissed off lady. Tells it like it is...or should be.
http://momsnuts.blogspot.com/

Elizabeth - intelligent, witty, and politically compatible...to me.
http://nowherethemiddle.blogspot.com/

mauigirl - Well researched, insightful think blogger. You'll love her.
http://mauigirlsmeanderings.blogspot.com/

Professor Chaos - Chaotic...no not really. Spot on, cutting wit and ideas.
http://wwwirritant.blogspot.com/

And now, on to catching up with my favorites...into tomorrow, probably. Actually, glad to have a tomorrow. Know what I mean?

Down and OUT

This blog is down and out for a few days (beaucoup flu in our household). The blog just doesn't feel very well at this time.

The photo is an apt portrait of how we all feel right now. Stole the photo from can't-remember-who. Sorry, who...I would give credit, but.

Oh...if I don't respond to your comments, please remember we are in delirium here.