Public Service Tip #13

So here's a guy who gets lots of credit card apps in the mail. He, as others do, usually tears them up and throws them away. On a whim, after tearing up a Chase Mastercard offer, he decided to try an experiment. In his own words, "I wasn't sure if just tearing a Credit Card application into tiny bits was good enough to prevent dumpster-diving theft, so I did a test.
I tore one up, then taped it back together again, filled it out with a DIFFERENT address and CELL number." The address was his parent's house.

He taped it on the back side so that he could fill out the front...and if you look closely at the photo, it was a lousy and obvious tape job.




I'm sure you've guessed the results...four weeks later he received a nice, shiny new card with a limit of $5,000.

Here then is JJ's public service tip, number thirteen:

Forget about shredding, tearing into minute little pieces, chewing, wadding, or gnawing your mail. A tried and true method I use is, I keep a plastic bag by the back door and when I get something such as a credit card application, or other private mail that I want to throw out, I put it in the plastic bag. (did I tell you that there is a disgusting part about this tip? There is.) We have three cats. They are indoor cats, and we have to change the litter every three days or so. At litter changing time, I dump the contents of the plastic bag into a sturdy garbage bag and on top of that...the cat shit. I gotta tell ya, if there's an identity thief out there that wants to go through my cat's crap bag, well...he/she damn well deserves my identity...and I'll give 'em the cats to boot.

You have to have at least one cat for this method to work. If not, borrow a neighbors cat. I suppose doggy do would...well...do, but you're going to have to follow a doggy around with the plastic bag, and I'm not sure one trip would do the job. If you are a farmer, think about all that pig dooky lying around, or maybe mountain oysters...that's pretty stinky. I can tell you from experience that the ideal substance is...baby diapers...especially the ones before they begin solid foods...you know...the blow-out ones.

Anyway, I think you get the idea. If you don't have a cat...be inventive.

We have nothing to fear but Chase Manhattan Bank.

Never...

ever, ever, swallow your bubble gum.

Musical History,

Sometimes a post just falls into one's lap...at least it does for me. This one, for example. I was on boingboing.net and ran across something called a Scopitone. This really threw me, because I'm old enough to remember these machines. But, I don't. Supposedly they were popular in the 60's, and were offshoots of a similar Italian machine. Don't ask me the particulars, cuz I'm too damn lazy to look them up. Not to mention, I am interested in the bloody things only as objects d'post.

Simply put, Scopitones were invented in France (the Italians and the Mafia will argue this point, however---I insert this here for obvious reasons---my mama didn't raise no fool---actually my mama didn't exactly raise me---but that's another, more complicated and not as amusing post). They---Scopitones, not the Mafia---were made from surplus War War II airplane parts. They were basically juke boxes with videos...so to speak. Now don't take me to task because I didn't do proper research before inserting peds into oral places. I use the term video, generically. Films, I don't know. People singing...and such. Scopitones are considered the forerunners to music videos.

So being the thorough and professional blogger maven that I am, I went looking for examples...and Great Mediocrity did I find some. So many that I found it difficult to choose one. But I did. No, I chose two. If the first one doesn't grab you, then try the second...they are close in quality and...sexual content. And, as intelliwench points out, highly sexist. However, the props are top drawer...ahem.

First somebody named Joi Lansing (get it? Joi...a play on JOY...clever huh?) singing "Web of Love":



And now, January Jones in, count them, 5 Bikinis and one full, singing "Up A Lazy River" (with several bimbos and no oar):




If this peaks your interest and you find the subject scintillating, you can find more here: http://scopitones.com/

Me, I'm fini with it (that's Italian, Tony...as in Soprano).