Friday, June 26, 2009

Old Wives Tale?

My brother, who lives in Southern California) called me last night and somehow after a bit the discussion deteriorated to spiders (he was bitten by a brown recluse a couple of years ago, hence his interest in poisonous insects). Anyway, he said something about a tarantula, the bite of which can cause painful erections in human males...for hours. Naturally, I challenged this as one more of his...well...fabrications.

So, as soon as I could, I turned to your friend and mine...Google, and googled in tarantulas and erection. Tarantulas came up...erections came up...but nothing about a connection of the two.

So I read an article about tarantulas HERE: http://www.indepthinfo.com/articles/tarantulas.shtml

Here is the relevant excerpt, if you don't feel like reading the entire article:

Tarantulas get their name from the city of Taranto in Italy. Beginning in the year 1370 and for about three hundred years thereafter there was an epidemic of spider bites during the harvest season in the farming areas around the city. The bites were thought to be produced by the "tarantula". The only cure for the bite was supposed to be to dance vigorously in a gyration called the tarantella. Those bitten were called called the tarantati. Paul Hillyard in "The Book of the Spider", tells us that those bitten suffered "severe pain and swelling, muscle spasms, vomiting, palpitation, fainting, priapism (involuntary erections), shameless exhibitionism, acute melancholia, and delirium, leading to death if untreated."

Priapism? Well hells bells as they say down in the trailer park. That lead me to this site, the article of which you are going to have to read yourself...I don't want to clutter my beautiful blog space: HERE.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapism

If that didn't scare the shit out of all males out there from the ages of 18-67 reading this, I don't know what will. The belows and overs will probably be wanting to know WHERE to get one of these spiders.

But after further investigation, it turns out the tarantula is getting a bum rap. The spider that CAN cause priapism---not to mention, death---is the Brazilian Wandering Spider. And HERE is everything you need to know about that cutie. Of course if you live in Australia, you have an equally nasty little bugger of your own. I can't attest to the Aussie spider's erection capabilities, though.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazilian_wandering_spider

I don't know about you, but I am canceling my planned trip up the Amazon...and giving up bananas.

OK, my brother's story was only half fabricated.

15 comments:

Doug said...

I haven't had an involuntary erection since high school...

I don't dislike spiders, but I keep a respectful distance away from all of them.

Punch said...

This doesn't have anything to do with that brown recluse that died yesterday, does it?

jadedj said...

Doug---braggart...but not arrogant. The Brazilian thing doesn't even want you in the country, it attacks if it finds out you have an airline ticket. No bike riding there man.

Punch---Actually, that would be, the Singing Bleach Recluse. You remember, "Clorina, Clorina...where ya been so long...you ain't got no nose, and you ain't got no more song (or is that dong...can't remember the words exactly)."

Doug said...

I was just saying the ones I had weren't unwanted :-)

That was sung by one of the Bobbys, Vee or Vinton. There was also a Curtola, but he was a Canuck.

jadedj said...

Doug---I stand corrected. Congratulations? :-)

I would love to say, that was before my time, but Punch up thtre would know it was a lie.

Fancy Schmancy said...

I honestly hate spiders. With good reason. Ill tell you about it another time.

jadedj said...

Fancy---I hope it doesn't involve this malady. There is a female version of it, which I didn't go into...seriously...not kidding...no shit. I've made fun of it here, but if anyone reads the info on line about it, they will realize it is a serious thing.

Mr. Charleston said...

Better be careful here JJ. You might start something that'll spread like the swine flu. Next thing you know every jughead in the country's going to be out trapping spiders hoping for the Big One.

Similar thing happened back in the 60s when the dopers found out that Alice made it to Wonderland with an Amanita mushroom. What the maroons didn't know was that it was only a small bite of a particular Amanita, The Flycatcher, that sends you to Wonderland. The others, well... a bunch of people found out the hard way why it's called the Destroying Angel.

However... I wonder if the basis of Viagra is a compound similar to the spider's? How about a business milking the little bastards for some kind of "organic" hard-on potion? Damn! We can call it TaranZilla and even come up with a theme song and dance!

Simon said...

The matter is even more confused by the fact that the ‘original’ tarantula – the one referred to in the 14th century accounts from Taranto – is a different one from the group of spiders that are now called tarantulas. So even if the old wives tales were true, then the priapism would be induced by a European wolf spider, Lycosa tarantula, not the unrelated varieties found in other countries such as North America.

So your brother, though he’d presumably heard the European folk-myth, didn’t realise it wouldn’t have applied to a tarantula bite in the US.

the walking man said...

Hmmmm I read in the wiki article that some people who are hung get an erection. Despite the obvious Carradine joke, I wonder if that is why they no longer use hanging as the death penalty. Can't have the mob beyond the gallows thinking the guy died feeling good.

Mr. Charleston said...

And let us not forget the opening chapter of The World According To Garp where nurse Betty climbs onto the rock-hard erection of a comatose and dying airman.

jadedj said...

Mr. C---sorry I took so long to respond...I spent the night milking my spiders.

Simon---then it must have been the Viagra he took.

walking---I think that's backwards...guys who are erected are hung...and therefore happy...or is that, guys who are hung are happy...nevermind.

Mr. C---I never forget. That is always foremost in my mind. For example, this morning when I woke up, I thought...that Betty was certainly a practical nurse, if not joker.

Enemy of the Republic said...

I don't have a penis. Is that a problem?

jadedj said...

EoR---Yes. See Fancy Schmanchy above. Clitoris or anal swelling...whichever applies.

Charles said...

I had to buy Prescription Drugs to my penis start to work again.