Saturday, June 6, 2009

Please Daddy

Today is my oldest daughter's birthday. She turns twelve. In the photo at right, she is about 12 minutes old. My first look at her.

As with most parents I've heard talking about their children's growth, I can't believe it. It was such a short time ago that she wasn't in my life...or so it seems. And now, I can't imagine her not being in my life. I was meant to have her there, and she was meant to have me and her mother as her parents. It's pretty awesome. It's definitely bigger than I.

She's no longer my "little" girl...and yet she is. She wants to be grown up, but there is a side to her that still bats her eyes, and says, "please, daddy." I am sure it won't be that long before the eye batting thing goes away and becomes eye rolling. But, that's ok, it's the natural evolution of things.

I'm not quite sure why, but as I write this, there's a sadness to my heart, I mean. She was so tiny, and so vulnerable, and for all these years, I've tried to protect her. But, that's can't forever be so. She has to strike out on her own and I know that...intellectually. But I will always miss my little girl...who will be, before I want her to, a young woman.

Don't feel sorry for me though, I am blessed, even though I am not a religious man. Because I also have a five year old daughter, and I get to protect and remain a please daddy for a few more years. Thank you, whomever is responsible. I am a very fortunate man.

Happy birthday Hannah. I love you.


Doug said...

That was very nice to read, jj. Happy Birthday to Hannah.

Xanadu said...

Give Hannah a Happy Birthday hug from Auntie Xanadu, too. Even when our children become adults, they will always be our little boys or little girls. My son is 25, and I still consider him as my 'little boy'. He laughs when I say that, as he is about a foot taller than I am. LOL. Hope she has a wonderful birthday. You sound like a caring, compassionate, loving dad. Yay for you and her. LOVE that photo. Hugs.

Lori E said...

As I was looking back through comments on my blog I found your site and came by for a look. (sorry it was a while ago)Serendipity to find your post about your daughter's birthday as the first thing I found out this morning was about the birth of another litte girl today. I should get her daddy to read this.
By the way Hippo Birdies to Ewe for your daughter.

Dedene said...

Happy Birthday to Hannah!
What a lovely post!

Mr. Condescending said...

o man thats gotta be a tough age on a dad as they start growing up. Awesome post for you to write! Happy Birthday Hannah!

paulboylan said...

Really good read. Thank you.

jadedj said...

Doug---thank you and it is still going on as I write.

Auntie Xanadu---H says that was an awesome hug :)

Lori E---That's great. Congrats and have him stop by. BTW, all comments are appreciated...belated or otherwise :)

Paul---That is definitely an appreciated compliment.

Dedene---Thank you. It was as much for myself as anything.

Mr. Condescending---Thanks. The tough part is knowing what comes next...boys. And she damned well better not bring home any like my teenage self.

Lou said...

Lovely post jj. Isn't parenthood an absolute miracle?

jadedj said...

Lou---It is. For me, I still look in wonder at these two beings who are a part of me and their mother. It's just too great to be a random thing.
That's not to say it isn't trying at times, eh?

intelliwench said...

I come here for a dose of cynicism, and this is what I get???

I liked it. Made me get all teary-eyed.

Now strap in for the ride to teenager land ;-)

jadedj said...

intell---Sorry, that's the kind of smuck I am. Drop in another day...I'll deliver.

Yeah,teenly town...that boy-type kid she brings home better be on the straight and narrow.

becomingkate said...

Happy Belated to Hannah!
You know, if I think of my oldest daughter (Jamie) as a baby, I'll cry. I miss that little one so much! (Even though I love Jamie as she is today)

jadedj said...

kate---thank you.

I don't remember what book (film) this line came from but it was from a dad who was having major problems with his teenaged daughter. He said, "I just want my little girl back." I wouldn't go that far, but I did understand the statement.

The Plashing Vole said...

Belated birthday felicitations to her from the UK. Thanks for your comment on plashing vole - always good to hear from fellow socialists.

jadedj said...

Plash---(or do you prefer Vole?) She will be delighted to hear from the land of her favorite British sitcom, "Black Books".

We "baby-eating" (according to U.S. Repub Pols) soicalists have to stick together.

Thanks for stopping by.

mo.stoneskin said...

As a father of one - a little 8 month old girl - I have no idea what it is like when they reach that age, but it is quite scary to imagine!

Punch said...

What a very nice moment in the blog bogg. This card? is late:
A) 'cause it is my style.
B) 'cause I was visiting my daughter upon her son's 7th Birthday.
By the way JJ that makes him my grandson.
Happy Birthday, Hannah.

jadedj said...

mo.stonerskin---I didn't mean to present it as a bad thing. It's almost like dealing with two different people...the little person and the big person...and I love both.

P---Thank you bro.

Late is fine. And a belated Happy Birthday to your grandson. Was his birthday Saturday?