Thursday, February 11, 2010

If Women Ruled (they don't?)

Now before some of you accuse me of being a sexist, yellow dog, piggly wiggly, pecker head, macho, chauvinist ass wipe...I need to point out that my loverly wife sent me these photos in an email, from work (obviously it was a slow day). So, sit back, reserve judgement and get what you can humorouslyly, forget about all the tards out there and chuckle...or have another cup of joe...or a nice LARGE glass of merlot.

There is a call in to our plumber...from Mrs. JJ.

You never know whose out there on line looking at your built-in camera.

No comment.

What? What? Whaaaaaaaat?

I hate technical things.

Well, for sure a pair of flats by Bosch is definitely out.

Bowl, or forever hold your peace.

They damned well better be over, and not under.

Unsafe at any speed.

If JJ ruled the world:
A glass of red wine each day may be providing you with more than just a little relaxation. For over 10 years, research has indicated that moderate intake of alcohol improves cardiovascular health. In fact, in 1992 Harvard researchers included moderate alcohol consumption as one of the “eight proven ways to reduce coronary heart disease risk.” However, research has suggested that specifically red wine is the most beneficial to your heart health. The cardioprotective effect has been attributed to antioxidants present in the skin and seeds of red grapes.

Can you imagine what three glasses a day would do for your prostate, dudes?


becomingkate said...

I particularly love the shoe, I mean hammer!

Jerry Critter said...

I am a firm believer in a little wine every day. In fact, I am about 50 years ahead of schedule.

All joking aside, I have heard that societies where women were in charge were much more humane, less war, and better social programs.

jadedj said...

Kate---Que pasa? Long time no see. I just remembered your shoe thing, er hammer. I am absolutely sure you have hammers all over the house :)

Jerry---Viva rojo! I came to this conclusion somewhere around 1970 or so...the female-in-charge statement, that is.

JenJen said...

Honey I need to steal some of these images. And? on my third glass of vino rosso, grazie...

the walking man said...

I suppose for prostrate healthy he method of getting the antioxidants to the prostrate may be a factor to consider.

Tom Harper said...

Red wine is OK too, but what about vodka? What are the health benefits of drinking a glass of vodka per day? Three glasses?

"Press any key to continue" -- I don't know if it's just an urban legend, but supposedly, help desks actually get panicked phone calls about "Where's the Any key? It says press any key to continue, but I can't find it!"

Doug said...

Robin Williams said that if women ruled the world, there would be no more wars.

Just heavy negotiations every 28 days.

Chimp said...

I stole these additional ideas from the net:

Swiss army knife with make-up essentials: comb, tweezers, eye liner, etc..

Martha Washington on the One Dollar bill.

Burger Queen?

Paint the White House pink?

Sarah Palin memorial in Washington? Do you have to be dead?

jadedj said...

Jen Jen---You steal away. Salut

wm---I for one prefer the liquid method.

Tom---It will improve your Russian, especially if you can see Russia.

I don't think it's an urban legend.

Doug---It's been my experience that negotiation is not on the table...

Chimp---The last one...maybe brain dead is now a valid criteria.

intelliwench said...

I just hope you don't think this post counts as your Valentine to Mrs. J . . . .

jadedj said...

intell---oh hell also happens to be her birthday. Double whammy. One present, hee hee hee, har.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

You are doomed, birthday and V-day at once, just roll over, have another glass of vino, and say "yes dear" :o)

Harlequin said...

wish I could have just one..... or even just three!
the manogram is a nice touch.... a little empathy move much appreciated.

jadedj said...

Bucko---Yes indeedy...learned the "yes dear" many moons ago.

Harlequin---Well, we guys have our version, bottom ended, usually administered by a sadomasochist of a doctor.

Punch said...

What's wrong with yellow dogs?

jadedj said...


Land of shimp said...

Oh I came leaping over here, with great speed, and gladness lightening my heart to ask, "What brand mattress was it?" Hoping that if I finally give in and send our back, I'd have another option.

Decidedly incongruous subject to broach when a chained toilet is at the top of the post.

Fellow liberal here, near socialist, I suppose, in that I think pouring money into the maintenance of our society for the betterment of all, and equal opportunities for all is a worthwhile endeavor. Isn't it funny that a word that, strictly speaking, is about the supporting the structure of society is somehow akin to "I'm a terrible threat to all you hold dear! Hide your children, your puppies, and any incidental chocolate you might have."

Like the post, by the way. I really like the spirit in which it was sent to you. If we can't laugh at ourselves, we're up a really bad creek without a crucial paddle.

jadedj said...

Land of shrimp---Thanks for visiting. By now you have read my comments on your site, and I wish I had hope to offer regards your stinky problem (if you other dear readers want to find out of which we speak, you'll have to visit Land of shrimp's site:

I thought the chains were a bit of an overkill when super glue would probably have sufficed (under the seat, not on top...ouch).

It's always encouraging to find a like-minded "pinko" soul out here. There is nothing complicated about the socialist idea of helping's simply the right thing to do.

Thank you, I will relay that to me other half...Mrs. JJ.