Friday, March 5, 2010

Zip Code 69696-96969

Recently I stumbled across the website of a town in the panhandle of my home state, Florida . It's name...Two Egg.

Although it's technically in Florida, I need to remind you that it is also very, very close to south Georgia...a state with towns named, Ludowici (that's loudiewhizee) Hephzibah, Cairo (pronounced locally as Kayrow), Euharlee, Gumlog, Hahira, Ocilla, Quitman, and Unidilla. Just thought I'd mention it.

Of course not being able to leave silliness well enough alone, and in the spirit of B of C's "What Were They Thinking" Award, I went looking for other silly place names in the U.S. Naturally, I gravitated toward the, ah, well, bawdy ones.

Somewhat of an the interest of time (I am doing this in the middle of the day, you know), I restricted my search to the U.S., but I do have two all time favorites, both of which are in the UK. I present, Wetwang and the enviable, Penistone.

So, here for your lurid and salacious enjoyment, a few that I found. Feel free to add your own...suggestive or horn-toady dogs you.

Hooker, Oklahoma was settled by some folks from,
Hooker Hole, Louisiana, methinks

I am Certain that Romance, Arkansas has nothing to do with Horneytown, North Carolina, but hey ya never know.

Is it possible that the people of French Lick, Indiana may have antecedents in Sweet Lips, Tennessee?

Surely Busti, New York and Bird in Hand, Pennsylvania, have some connection.

Fanny, West Virginia is, well, not that far from Big Beaver, Pennsylvania (almost around the corner, as it were). BTW, we also have a Beaver right here on the plain Plains...not a big one though...small one.

Great minds do indeed run in the same circles, methinks. Take Butts, Georgia and Buttzville, New Jersey, for example.

I'm loving Loving, New Mexico, because, I love New Mexico.

Intercourse, Pennsylvania is a long way from Climax, Georgia, butt I think it was good for both of them.

And then we have,
Dicktown, New Jersey (nothing to do with Dick Nixon...maybe)
Erect, North Carolina (a hard place to find)
New Erection, Virginia (Jesus!)
Dickshooter, Idaho (and you thought all they had were potatoes).

I'm wondering what happened for these folks to name their town, Conception, Missouri...any ideas?

And finally a place Tiger ought to consider retiring to...Fidelity, Missouri.


diane said...

These are hilarious! That's a lot of research my man.
In France there's a sign that reads
No kidding.

Pantsless Ponderer said...

Ah, I was going to suggest Climax, Michigan, but it looks like another State has claimed that as well.

Well, I know it's not ha-ha funny, but I'm from Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Punch said...

I think it is ProNouced loodawiissee. BTW, it also had it state charter as a mucipality 'cause of the speed trap they ran in the 50's and 60's.
You forgot Allbenny, Ga. but it's spelled like that city in New York state.

Kulkuri said...

Michigan has a Paradise and a Hell. Both real towns, I've heard of contests to send people to Hell, Michigan, but have never heard of one to send anyone to Paradise, Michigan.

mo.stoneskin said...

Is this your way of admitting that you live in Penistone? Or have one? Whatever such a horrible thing is.

Holte Ender said...

I live near Loodawissi, GA and I used to live 10 miles from Peculiar, Missouri.

jadedj said...

Diane---There actually are some nice grasses in kidding.

Pantsless---There appear to be many climaxes throughout the country. I personally have seen a few.

Kalamazoo...Well, it's at least ha funny. Isn't that one of those slide whistle things?

Punch---That is loodachrus, that Allbeeny thing.

Kulkuri---Possibly a lot more fun in Hell than Paradise? Sort of like, do I really want to go to the same place Pat Robertson is going. No brainer.

Mo---My wife has asked me not to talk about public.

jadedj said...

Holte---You sneaked that one in while I was sneaking one in.

I have many times been through Loodawissi. Some mighty fine boiled peanuts there as I recall.

Living in a state next to Missouri (is that Missureye?), I find it odd that I haven't been through Peculiar.

Doug said...

Dildo, NFLD, is across from Conception Bay.
Doesn't seem likely, eh?

Sue said...

Funny! I live near Intercourse, PA and visit it quite often!

How 'bout a road name? here in the countryside of Southern Jersey, there is a long country road called Buckshutem Rd. I always say the Indians named it one day while they were hunting. One guy yelled out, LOOK!! Buck, shoot 'em!!

I crack myself up! lol

jadedj said...

Doug---I don't know dude, living in that cold ass place, Newfoundlandians may be capable of anything.

Punch said...

Who could possible forget, Nigger Head Mountain, located just outside of Burnet, Texas?

jadedj said...

Punch---Are you fucking serious. A real place?

Burnet...named after the guy on Miami Vice?

Punch said...

Yes, can you believe it?
No been there for years, BTW they just took Nigger Head Gulch off the maps, 'bout 5 years ago or so.

Harlequin said...

these were great... I laughed out loud at Dickshooter. My home province, Newfoundland has a Conception Bay as well and two places named Heart's Content and Heart's Desire, and my all time favourite: Dildo.... great little town!

Shrinky said...

Hysterical, you couldn't even make these up, could you? I have tripped over many jaw-dropping village names in my corner of the world, but darn it, I can't bring them to mind now - sigh. Let me think on it..!

jadedj said...

Sue---I just noticed I didn't respond to your comment. I am so sorry. No slight intended...simply the brain fart thing.

Road names are good too. Hey, there's a whole other post.

I wonder if Buck got em?

Punch---Thanks for clearing that up.

Harlequin---I wonder if the heart's desire is contented in dildo? Hm.

Shrinky---Thanks for stopping by :). Do think on it, because I know there are some funny bone ones there abouts.

Tom Harper said...

I thought a kidney stone was painful until I had a Penistone.

jadedj said...

Tom---Kidney stones are for sure not fun, but Penistones are very hard on a person. My condolences...or congratulations, whichever applies.

PENolan said...

Just saying "hi"
I'm up in the middle of the night and my brain isn't working well enough to think of anything besides wondering why you left out Blueballs PA which is not far from Intercourse - unless somebody was telling me a story. I'm not checking google to verify if there really is a Blueballs, PA.
There is a Cut N Shoot, Texas where legend has it that if a hippie wandered into town they'd cut his hair and shoot him. I think that's just a story too.

Chimp said...

I've been to Intercopurse, PA and Ding Dong, Texas. Two Egg is in Florida, but never been. Have you been to Half.Com, Oregon?

jadedj said...

PE---Morning. Yes indeed, there is a Blue Ball, PA. In the same county as Intercourse, I just flat out missed it. But then, it wasn't supposed to be an all-inclusive list, just a quickie post (I much prefer my readers doing most of the work). Heavy Amish in that county also, as I recall...hmmmm.

Wouldn't be surprised at the origin of Cut N Shoot.

Chimp---Ding Dong? Har har har! Hey PE, is that true?'ve been half way there...vada boom.

Land of shimp said...

Hehe, yes, I see these lists from time-to-time and they are always funny. The only ticket I ever got in my life was in Buttsville, NJ...which is a surprisingly beautiful area by the Delaware Water Gap.

Every time I drive to Glenwood Springs Colorado, I pass the exit for "No Name" ...which is the actual area's name. Named after "No Name" creek. How'd that one ever catch on? I like to envision someone with a raging hangover bestowing that nameless name.,_Colorado

jadedj said...

L o s---I wonder if no one lives in No Name.

Christina said...

Too funny indeed! I live about 3 hrs or so from Intercourse, Pa...home of the Amish!!!

About the other town names like the P: priceless!!!!

Land of shimp said...

Probably. Anonymously, of course, under a non de plume like...Fred.

jadedj said...

Christina---3 hours by car, or buggy? Yes, I try to stay away from the "P" towns, just in case.

L o s---Fred de plume...I've heard of him. A cousin of Pepe le Pew, I'm told.

Anonymous said...

In peculiar ,their sign says,welcome to peculiar where the odds are with you.

jadedj said...

Anon---That IS peculiar.