Saturday, November 6, 2010

It Coulda Happened This Way...

"I am not a good American...I prefer to form my own opinions" - George Carlin

My friend Punch at The Theater of the Absurd has a God post today. Not to be out done...here's mine.

Some unanswered questions related to the "beginnings", by way of the Old Testament:

Why did Adam and Eve have sex organs? Were they added AFTER the fall?

If God has a gender, would that not imply that He/It/She has a sex organ, as well? If so. Why?

The Tree of Appendage Knowledge...from whence we all sprang:

24 comments:

RealityZone said...

We are not alone.

-.-.-.-.-.-.E.T. Call home-.-.-.-.-.-

Punch said...

Are you saying God's a dick?

jadedj said...

RZ---I hope so.

Punch---I only ASK the questions that need asking.

Doug said...

If God has both, then you'll get screwed two ways to Sunday.

jadedj said...

Doug---HARHARHARHARHARHAR!

boomer bob said...

Dammit J! You've been talkin to Norma Cox again!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

And why do Adam and Eve have belly buttons? An old question, but a good one.

Mr. Charleston said...

The Greeks had it right. There are a bunch of gods and goddesses and they party down, when not toying with us wretched creatures here below.

jadedj said...

boomer---One can talk to Norma?

DSWS---To collect lint for their doilies.

Mr. C---Tsk, tsk...you being a deacon and all. Oh, and btw, have you been talking to Norma Cox?

intelliwench said...

I stopped reading the little black book once I figured out that man created God in his image.

Go see the Truth at my comment at Punch's place.

jadedj said...

intell---With a smile on my face at your comment over there, I responded...REMEMBER, with a smile on my face.

intelliwench said...

...and I set you straight ;-)

Mr. Charleston said...

I had nothing to do with Norm's cock. That was Punch.

Punch said...

Most Excellent jadedj…
Inquiring minds want to know.
If the preachers are all dicks and
Man was created in the image of god,
It therefore follows,
God is a dick.
It's logical Most Excellent One.

Mr. Chuck…
You are thinking about Norma and
we were not talking,
but cocks did come
into the picture.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

the Goddess said she added sex organs so people could make each other feel good..the kids came later. and they have belly buttons because she gave birth to them.

Harlequin said...

as likely this explanation as any other.....
humans create stories that create humans. perhaps this is the reason so many of us are obsessed with ( the) word (s).

Tom Harper said...

I wanna see some beaver shots of God.

jadedj said...

intell---You did...you did.

Mr. C---He denies it and says you are a schweinhund socialist prickenheim.

Punch---I believe it goes this way...God was created in the image of men. This allowed them to think
of themselves and their weenies, as the center of the Universe.

Are you referring to Norma's Jeans? And BTW, why do you hate Mr. C?

YD G---The Goddess is wise beyond my smart ass mouth.

Tom---I believe your best bet would be at PornHub, the discriminating deity's porn site...or, so I am told,
mind you.

Chimp said...

God created two magic trees: the tree of life and the tree of knowledge. Eat from the the first, and you live forever; eat from the second and you'll die the same day.

Is this where we get, "Too much knowledge is dangerous or a bad thing."?

That's what God said, but......

Adam ate from the tree of knowledge and lived for another 930 years or so.

I believe God rested on the seventh day? God got tired?

jadedj said...

Chimp---Exactly.

Chimp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chimp said...

What did Adam say to Eve?
You'd better stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets.

Chimp said...

The car was first mentioned in the bible.
Quote: "And God in HIS FURY, drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden"

jadedj said...

Chimp---The beginning of the myth.

Chimp---Wait...I thought God spoke Italian. So, wouldn't that be a Fiat? In God's FIAT...hmmmm. OK, maybe it was German. In God's Beemer...nope. I know, I know...He speaks a Slavic tongue. In God's Yugo, He drove Adam and Eve about two blocks before the fucking thing broke down.