Friday, December 24, 2010

Santa Suey?

"I am not a good American...I prefer to form my own opinions" - George Carlin

"It's difficult to remember one came to drain the swamp when one is up to one's ass in alligators" - Barack Obama (not really...but it should have been).

It is dang cold out here on the plain Plains today. A nice (tongue-in-cheek) sheet of ice on everything.

The cold freezes the brain. That is good I suppose, because it keeps the head from exploding...unless, of course one gets stupid and starts reading the news. In which case not even a frozen brain will stay intact.

However, it does induce one to start thinking about unimportant and silly ass things...such as...since China is not a Christian Nation, in the sense that the U. S. is (or is, as so many of our idjit citizens claim)(and nothing says Christ so much as Santa), then I wonder if Santa Claus, goes to China. And if so, this would put him there as one of his first stops. Not too long after bypassing Sarah Palin for Eastern Russia.


International Dateline


After much research, and two cups of Joe, I have come up with conclusive evidence regards this burning question. You be the judge.



Santa's Helpers?



Sure and it's Santa himself.

So this leads me to this question. Does Santa bring the same cheap, shoddily made, lead saturated toys...made in China...to Chinese boys and girls, that he brings America girls and boys? Just wondering.

All of this mostly silliness is by way of wishing all you who visit my ego trip here, SEASONS GREETINGS...peace and all like that there, dudes and dudettes.

ADDENDUM.

My brother's paramour is a Chinese Lady with whom he has been living for 12 years. She migrated here in the 90's, having been asked to leave by the Chinese government because of her participation in Tienanmen Square. She is a PhD Acupuncturist and has done very well in this country, opening up her own clinic in Orange County. Last year, she was sworn in as a U.S. Citizen. A big day for her. But of course, she still maintains contact with her family back in China. In fact, she is there now, visiting her ill mother.

When I went looking for Christmas photos taken in China for this post, I ran across the photo of the lovely ladies above...all amarching in arow. I forgot to take note of the origin of the photo. I wasn't even sure they were Chinese.

So I emailed the photo to my brother, who showed it to his...paramour. She knew exactly who they are. According to her, they are part of the "entertainment" wing of the Red Chinese Army. THE ENTERTAINMENT WING? WTF?

Having been a gung-ho, brave and gullible soldier in the U.S. of A Army myself, I can say...I do not recall an entertainment arm of our army. There is the USO, but it isn't part of the army. They have no uzis, AK47s, M16s, 45s or fur-lined pistola holders. And certainly, no fleshy showing, short shorts all amarching in arow. Nope, I am pretty sure we ain't got one.

Hot damn...I wonder if Mao is aturnin' in his grave. Now that would have made it worth participating in the Great March, methinks.

48 comments:

tnlib said...

And peace to you. Looking forward to more delicious banquets in 2011.

hot girl said...

Merry christmas !!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Have a holly jolly celebration!

Chimp said...

Best wishes to you and yours, JJ!!!

Chimp said...

Since most of the North Pole has melted due to Al Gore’s Global Warming and most toys and most everything is made in China, I believe Santa moved his workshop from the North Pole to Beijing a couple of years ago at which time he converted to Buddhism. His permanent red suit made the Chinese government very happy. His toy budget goes a lot further with the red elves as opposed to the unionized green ones. The Chinese are very happy with Santa especially since his jolly fat looks remind them so much of Buddha, their main god.

jadedj said...

tnlib---That is one of the most gracious comments every made over here at this burg. And peace to you, as well!

hot girl---Thanks for stopping over. Ditto.

DSWS---It's nigh on the celebration hour. Anticipation is high in this household. Almost time to hook up to Norad.

Chimp---And you my friend.

Chimp---"...remind them so much of Buddha...", not to mention American consumers at Walmart.

Mauigirl said...

Have a wonderful holiday! Enjoy!!!

Doug said...

Have a Merry Christmas, JJ!

jadedj said...

Doug---Thank you my friend and the same to you and yours.

Octopus said...

jadedj,
Just stopping by to wish you are Happy and Healthy Halibut and Best Fishes for the New Year. May Manta Claus bring you lots of goodies.

Harlequin said...

santa's helpers was a nice touch.
hope you are able to have a time for fun and thoughtfulness and tenderness around the people who mean the most to you.
merry ho ho

jadedj said...

Octopus---SEAsons greetings and salmontations to you my fin.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

I'm surprised the Chinese didn't shoot him down with a land to air missile..Merry Christmas Happy yule my friend..hope we have many more.

squatlo said...

I've loved finding your blog and hope you keep pounding away on it!
Merry Christmas to you and yours (now get back to work!)

;-)

jadedj said...

YD G---Which is precisely why he dodges North Korea. Btw, I tried very hard to work in the "F" word in this comment, because I know it's your favorite. All I could come up with is...I hope it is/was a good effing one for you too my very funny friend!

squatlo---And that works two ways :-) The pounding is in my head...every time I catch up with the day's events. A fricking sledgehammer of late.

I hope the day was one of remembrance for you and your family, as well.

Punch said...

Are Those Uzies?

Bret “Ginx” Alan said...

Hmm, let's see... if Americans get stuff made by the Chinese from Santa, that means the Chinese should get stuff made by Americans. So... I'm guessing Santa fills the stockings of good Chinese boys and the few remaining Chinese girls with... um... I guess guns and debt.

intelliwench said...

Jaded, my friend - a lump of coal is on its way to you. You may burn it to keep warm, or put it inside your head and let the pounding turn it to diamonds :-)

Merry Yuletime !

Punch said...

Oh Buy the Weight…A little geography, Sport.
Sarah would be the last stop for the Fat Man.
Please see your own goddamn dateline.

Too much ChristmaS Cheeerrr???
J(OhhhNoooo I meant XXmas cheer oah beer, never mind)

How was Supper last night?

HumBug.

Chimp said...

"In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, never in want."

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011 TO AL !!!!

jadedj said...

Mauigirl and Harlequin---I haven't a clue as to why my comments section skips over comments, but it does frequently. And it also doesn't email all comments to me. Sorry.

We did indeed have a great day yesterday. I hope the same was true for the two of you :-)

Punch---No, those are Chinese ladies.

Bret---And pink slips?

intell---My brain requires two lumps...but this is a start.

Merry likewise to you kiddo!

Punch---Old news...that was yesterday...this is tomorrow, fool.

I got sent to bed without supper.

Chimp---We can only hope. Ditto.Mauigirl and Harlequin---I haven't a clue as to why my comments section skips over comments, but it does frequently. And it also doesn't email all comments to me. Sorry.

We did indeed have a great day yesterday. I hope the same was true for the two of you :-)

Punch---No, those are Chinese ladies.

Bret---And pink slips?

intell---My brain requires two lumps...but this is a start.

Merry likewise to you kiddo!

Punch---Old news...that was yesterday...this is tomorrow, fool.

I got sent to bed without supper.

Chimp---We can only hope. Ditto.

Punch said...

Old New???

Lame.
There seems to be no reason to comment,

'cause you wait till it's old news and then say
'Old News'. Makes my life a lot easier.
Happy New Year.
Oh that's Old news.

becomingkate said...

Hope you and the family had a good one jj!

jadedj said...

Punch---Date line. Today...tomorrow. Instead of the spirit of the post, you picky, picky, pickied about the dateline...which incidentially AIN'T MY DATELINE, as you so uninformedly ASSUMED was...and we all know about ASSuming.

My conclusion is: A) you are pee-ohed regards the remark about Sarah, because you have old geezer dreams which include the loudmouth herself, and a walrus...and you are very fond of both of them...and B) you were potty-trained far too early.

Happy New Year next week, assholeo.

Kate!---How the hell are you? Long time no see. Greetings to you and your family as well :-)

Punch said...

Oh

boomer bob said...

你他妈的Chrismtas风流资本主义。我送你洗衣皂导致所以你必须痒

boomer bob said...

你痒了吗?做你的poops打破厕所?

boomer bob said...

顺便说一下,如果这些都是圣诞老人的助手,我接手明年圣诞节

jadedj said...

boomer---Easy for you to say.

For the very few of you who don't speak Chinese...the burning questions boomer asks are:

You fucking Chrismtas romantic capitalism. I send you so you have to laundry soap cause itching.

You itch it? Do your poops break the toilet?

By the way, if these are Santa's assistant, I took over next Christmas.


And Seasons scratching to you too boomer :)

jadedj said...

Punch---That's it? THAT'S IT?

Punch said...

No!!! That’s not F**&^%$@G IT.
But it is F*&^%$)G the week BETWEEN Christmas and New Years.!!!
IT Ain’t Christmas Nor New Years!!!

IT must be Taint.
That place between the Old and the NEW.

But because of SOMEone’s timeline I’m just not sure who to credit.
Yet, Surly I cannot credit you.

Happy What Everthe f***

Leslie

corticoWhat said...

这里希望您和你的一新年好

jadedj said...

Leslie---Skipped the anger management class and bought a 2 liter bottle of tequilla instead...again, eh?

Btw...'tis the SEASON to be JOLLY...which includes the week between the two holidays. Christ!

擁擠的電梯氣味不同,侏儒

節日快樂,兩個節日之間的挑剔先生


cortico---你去過交談boomer bob? 而從這裡到我的朋友你太!

jadedj said...

A note to all. See the ADDENDUM in the post about the marching ladies in the second photo. It probably should have been a separate post...but I'm feeling lazy tonight.

boomer bob said...

Damn. I guess if you don't laugh at their jokes they shoot you. Some very cute little ladies in that band though.

boomer bob said...

BTW - the story about your brother's lady is too cool. I love to hear stories like that. It's amazing to see how successful immigrants can be here. It's as though the change in culture allows them to see things we don't.

PENolan said...

#1 At first glance, I thought Santa's Helpers were men in drag and couldn't believe the legs on those soldiers.
#2 What do you mean by "paramour"?
#3 Ever since I went to Drinking Liberally the other night, I've been thinking that if we're in a class war, the Rebel Alliance should have a USO sort of organization. We would support the hard working pockets of resistance - like those hunky veterans who chained themselves to the White House fence on Dec 16.

jadedj said...

boomer---With some cute little pistolas and automatics, eh?

boomer---Yes indeed. My wife and I were talking recently about Latin immigrants and the misconception that they are lazy. I've never seen a lazy farm worker, or concrete layer, or landscape laborer, which are the kinds of jobs Latin immigrants have to take here to survive. I have seen plenty of lazy ass white peckerwoods though.

Tricia---1)I never thought of that. Could be.

2) Paramour:
1.
an illicit lover, esp. of a married person.
2.
any lover.

I use it in the sense of def 2. Besides, I just like the word. Some words roll off the lips nicely. This is one of them. I could have said, significant other, but it doesn't rollllllll for me.

3) I am not so sure the hunks were in an entertaining mood.

Mr. Charleston said...

I got here late on this one but, as much as I hate to admit it JJ, you're right about the date line. One might inform that nitwit Punch that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. (At least it did the last time I checked.) The new day STARTS at the dateline going east to west.

jadedj said...

Mr. C---But what day is it if one is going North to South, or viser viser...right on the line?

BTW...I leave defense of his honor to Punch himself. I'd be locking my doors if I were you, however.

Punch said...

Mr. LateChuck...that was my point. The fat man starts at the dateline and would pass alaska about 23 hours later. READ son. Buy the Whey, Sir Jackie Stewart has been called a nitwit by better men than you. I am in good company. Twit!
Pair or more - a strong possibility of winning a hand at poker.
Poker - a rude term for sex.

jadedj said...

Punch---Wait a dang minute...Pair or more, that is a derogatory reference to paramour...am I correct? Does this have anything to do with Dorothy Lamour?

It's your ball Mr. C.

Chimp said...

新年快乐!

Chimp said...

سنة جديدة سعيدة!

Chimp said...

Καλή Χρονιά!

Punch said...

Just as I thought, Mr.C has no balls.

jadedj said...

Chimp---乾杯!!

Chimp---ملء الخاص الهجن

Chimp---Skoal!

Punch---I'm not touching that...er, those...them?...it?

PENolan said...

Jaded - I didn't want to entertain them while they had chained themselves to the fence. The entertainment comes later - after they're done at the police station and need whiskey and a massage. And maybe weed.

That's why I was wondering exactly what you meant by paramour, and I'm not touching those things of Punch's either.