Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Fowl Play?

"I am not a good American...I prefer to form my own opinions" - George Carlin

Beam me up and to the other side of the Galaxy, Gertrude...we're next.

HEADLINES TODAY:

Thousands of Turtle Doves drop dead out of the sky in Italy...with strange blue stain on their beaks...blue stains believed to be sign of poisoning or hypoxia - lack of oxygen that is precursor to altitude sickness. - Birds with ALTITUDE sickness? WTF?

Cold weather and overbreeding blamed for deaths of two 2 million fish in Chesapeake Bay
Just goes to show, punctuality is a virtue to take seriously...fly South early. No, wait...fish. OK, swim South early!

Disease behind deaths of 100,000 fish in Arkansas River
STD? Fucking fish...jeez. Worse than rabbits! Was this what the Roe vs Wade thing was about?

At least nine incidents of mass animal deaths across the globe
It's Obama's fault!

Hundreds of confused birds plummeted to their deaths in multiple locations in the U.S.
If God had wanted birds to fly he would have given them...er...nevermind.

Rapid movement of Magnetic North Pole towards Russia may have caused bird deaths
DO NOT TAKE YOUR WATCH TO, OR PUT YOUR COMPUTER NEAR RUSSIA!

NOT ONE DAMNED MENTION OF THE PARTRIDGE IN THE PEAR TREE!


28 comments:

David said...

an example and warning of the fate of those who try to divide people....

randi.org/site/index.php/swift-blog/1176-serves-em-right.html


At least we're on the same page...

Serves Em Right, eh, Randi....


skepticalcommunity.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=29968&p=567498#p567498

jadedj said...

David---If I knew what the deuce you are talking about, I could agree, or disagree...but, I don't.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

The Apocalypse, it comes.

Punch said...

Is Hitchcock involved with this?

intelliwench said...

Another ominous sign: two earthquakes in Bubbaville in the last 6 months!

(Jim)Beam me up, Scotty! Or JJ...

jadedj said...

DSWS---They made a sequel?

Punch---Hitchcock is on the other side...with Jim. I suppose it's possible.

intell---Any dead partridges?

One to Jim Beam up...as soon as I find the coordinates...or, get coordinate...or, some such.

Kulkuri said...

STD? Fucking fish...jeez. Worse than rabbits! Was this what the Roe vs Wade thing was about?

Never thought of it that way before, now probably won't be able to forget.

Beam me up and to the other side of the Galaxy, Gertrude...we're next.

To infinity and beyond!!

Tom Harper said...

Haven't you heard??? There IS an explanation for all those dead birds:

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

jadedj said...

Kulkuri---Don't this mixed up with the rapture. Be careful who you trust with your beaming.

Tom---Oh yes, how stupid of me...God is speaking to us through another talking head...and dead birds. I'm of the opinion that the best part of the end times will be...we'll be rid of these morons.

boomer bob said...

"NOT ONE DAMNED MENTION OF THE PARTRIDGE IN THE PEAR TREE!"

Or the Patridge family. Now THAT could kill birds.

God is after the birds and fish because of gays in the military.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V17WGTvPHGg&feature=player_embedded

jadedj said...

boomer---Har!

The gay thing is what Tom Harper was referring to, above. Great minds, eh?

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

the sky is falling the sky is falling..oh wait...it's just a bird.

jadedj said...

YD G---Be glad pigs don't fly.

PENolan said...

So long and thanks for all the fish . . .

jadedj said...

Tricia---I love a happy ending, don't you?

Kulkuri said...

All those fish, but where's the loaves of bread???

jadedj said...

Kulkuri---Screw the bread...where's the wine?

Mr. Charleston said...

alright, I've tried my best but I can find nothing even remotely funny so as to leave some smart-ass remark. My heart aches for Mother Nature.

jadedj said...

Mr. C---This is serious...you can't find a smart-ass remark? You are not really Mr. Charleston, right? Who are you pal? Are you DM?

Harlequin said...

the caption on the movie poster says it for me: there are worse things than dying. apparently so.

Mr. Charleston said...

OK, lets try this. Tens of thousands of bloated bodies scattered throughout the forest from a tsunami, thousands killed in an earthquake, dead birds falling from the sky, bloated dead fish by the millions. Happy Fucking New Year.

jadedj said...

Harlequin---Are you referring to this blog? :-)

Mr. C---That's not smart ass...that's dark and depressing. Come by and cheer us up again some time.

Punch said...

Smart Ass??? is that not the guy who just took the gavel from Nancy.
No maybe wise ass?
no, maybe dumb ass
oh I forget.

jadedj said...

Punch---No, you have it all wrong. The guy who took the gavel from Nancy is ass wipe...you have it all ass backwards.

Chimp said...

It's possible that Pentagon biological testing through the chemtrails they spread all over the earth, have caused this. If it is, the media will blame it on "weather baloons" or ADHD or not having safe sex and using condoms.

No one REALLY knows what the Pentagon is doing with HAARP. It's supposed to modify the weather and it's been blamed for the Haiti earthquake a year ago.

Since Pat Robertson blamed the Haiti earthquake on the Devil, I thnk that evangelist lady may be right and it's the way God shows his hatred for gays - by killing birds and fish. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Tom Harper solved the problem!

jadedj said...

Chimp---Have you been talking to Mr. C?

Chimp said...

This morning, while I was sitting on the crapper, doing my business, I received DIVINE INSPIRATION! Ahhh, now, I know for a fact, that the birds and the fish died as an ACT OF GOD! God, feeling pitty for the poor starving homeless ordered the birds and the fish to commit mass suicide so that the growing n umber of poor could eat.

In the past, God had ordered the animals to run in front of cars so they would provide the roadkill these starving individuals need to survive. God learned that this wasn't enough.

jadedj said...

Chimp---So, they are going to eat crow? This would be an excellent diet for a select group of politicians, methinks.