I'm not complaining mind you, but that was more or less the prognosis after my unscheduled visit to the emergency room a couple of weekends ago.
It was just getting dark and I was on a ladder in my garage, trying to repair the door opener. I thought I couldn't see because of the single light bulb in the light fixture itself. I got down, turned on another light, and realized that it wasn't the dimness...it was double vision in my left eye. Then the chest pain began...not sharp...kind of dull...but pain nevertheless. My wife pushed my stubborn ass into the car and we went to the nearest hospital, which happens to be Catholic. They immediately took me in when we mentioned the chest pain part..and without even one word about beJesus. Hallelujah!
Long story short, they gave me large amounts of tests, pumped me full of "stuff", hooked me up to multiple tentacles and decided to keep me overnight for more tests the next day.
No fine, I-don't-want-to-go-home, loopy medications, however.
Aside from hourly blood draw pokes, the worse part was the stress test the next day. I have a sciatic nerve problem and the pain is severe when I put too much strain on it. The alternative to the physical stress test is a radiated chemical one...the name of which I forget. At first I thought that this was the better method, given my sciatica problem. BUT THEN, the nurse began reading to me the possible side affects, one of which was severe headache and...and...and...another...CARDIAC ARREST! I have heard many first hand tales about this shit...and they aren't nice. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Time to "man up" and take the actual, frickin' treadmill stress test. This took a lot of grit and removing my mind from the actual event, it hurt like hell, but I did it.
In the end (the interim end, that is), they could not find one damned thing "apparently" wrong. So, I was given prescriptions for Nitroglycerin and some baaaaaad mo fo blood pressure drug. For those of you who don't know, Nitroglycerin is that tiny pill actors pop in their mouths whilst faking a heart pain in old "B" movies...oh, and did I mention, it is also a main ingredient of...Dynamite!
As to the cloud hanging there, I am doing a follow up with the Cardiologist this week (more tests). He did say that cardiac catheterization is a possibility if this reoccurs. But, hey...they do that every day...every day...every day...or so I am told.
At best, I consider the experience an ode to making it this far on the planet...albeit with tubes, probes, and Doctor Who type machines, self-inflicted physical tests and of course explosive sounding medications.
And it also reinforced an adage my dear ol' grandmother beat repeatedly into my skull...that is...wear fresh drawers...everyday...you never know when you are going to end up in a hospital.