Thursday, May 28, 2009

Franchness Award

By unpopular request, I have taken it upon myself to create an award to end all awards here in bloggerville.

There was an entire gaggle of bloggers who were in the running. So many, that I simply don't have space to mention them all. For those of you who may be scratching there in that nonpublic place and wondering,"what's a gaggle, and does it have anything to do with Google?"...I have an answer, in my usual informative and highly succinct, educational way. A gaggle is, a whole lot. A Google is the entire Universe...somewhat more than a whole lot, but less than the girth of say...oh...Rush Limbaugh---who has been know to take a double gaggle of pain pills on occasion. But, that's another post.

OK, so maybe there weren't that many candidates. A half gaggle, perhaps...which is more than a bunch, and certainly a smidgen, or iota, which has nothing to do with the ancient Classical Grecian Column...that would be Ionic. Speaking of Ouzo...we weren't? Tell it to the Chaplin...or, ameer (sp? so sue me, I'm not Muslim.)

Ouzo: Did I ever relate the fact that I grew up two doors down/up from a Greek Family. The daughter, who was two years younger than moi, was a nice young lady...except that she had a crush on me. The fact that I didn't respond in kind, disqualified her from a life of misery and introspection, and what-the-fuck-was-I-thinkingness. She married a stable, sane, other non-Greek person in the neighborhood. I went to their wedding. And a helluva wedding it was...not fat...just helluva. It was at this function that I was introduced to Ouzo. Ouzo from the freezer...that's where they kept it...and that's where I spent the entire reception...next to the freezer. My advice to you regards Ouzo is...if your car's valves are tapping...dump a pint of Ouzo in the gas tank and...no more tapping. Do NOT drink it!

Back to the subject at Mano (don't you love my bi-lingualness?). I struggled with a name for the award. It had to reflect the classiness of the thought behind the award, and yet not appear pretentious. After wasting an entire evening and bottle of fine Merlot, I hit upon the idea of something Frenchy...something pretentious...such as, du Jeor Award, or Sock Day Blue Award, or Merlot pour Jaded Award (pulease, French speaking peoples out there---do not, DO NOT, correct my French. You may pardon it, but don't correct it. I KNOW it is correctable. And besides---I used to live with a bitch...oops...lady, who spent many years in Franch (Merlot for France) and spoke Franch Ouzoly fluent. She used to correct my Franch constantly. What the bitch...er, lady didn't know was...I DON'T SPEAK FRANCH. Ha!

But, I digress, and duress. The award.

The first, Merlot inspired, non-Grecian, uncorrected Franchy, classy, tres coveted Award entitled, "Moi Blog Award" goes to...

Moi (translation to you non-Franch speakers: Me).

As I said, I struggled with this and the only conclusion can be, I, me, moi, am about blogging. Bloggin' in the self-serving sense. A displaced Southerner, living in the Mid-west, driving a Korean van, and a Japanese car...giving my children Chinese toys, and using a German camera for auto-biographical purposes...who else could be more AMURICAN...and self-centered? Except of course, Sarah whatsher...but she doesn't have a blog...that I would want to visit (you should take note that over there on the right in my blogs I follow...there is no Sarah...Palin...Alaskan...or, Bear blog.)

Sorry all of you followers, I considered each and every, but none of you met the ultimate test: complete self-centered adoration...Narcissusness. Moi do.

Bon jour soup de day.

Oops, forgot...here's the thingy thing award graphicness:



Feel free to steal it, copy it, eat it, award it to yourself...or just go to sleep...with the help of a glass of Merlot...DO NOT DRINK OUZO! Well, maybe just a snort.

15 comments:

Lou said...

I can't think of anyone more deserving jadedj. Soak up the glory.

MauritaMason said...

ha! Congratulations!! I just want you to know that I feel cheated somehow.

Xanadu said...

Congrats. You deserve this award. Doing the Happy Dance for you. lol. Hugs.

Punch said...

I drank Ouzo, Once. Got rewarded for it.

PENolan said...

I have big visions of Sarah Palin drinking ouzo and speaking French on a book tour with Rupert Murdoch. This is what you've done to me at 6:30 in the morning.
I swear - I'm putting you on the search committee to find me a boyfriend.

jadedj said...

Lou---duly soaked. Thank you.

Marita---Danke (see, international-lingual). Have a glass of Ouzo...you'll get over it :)

Xanadu---Merci. If that dance involves automobile fluid (aka, Ouzo), I feel for you.

Punch---I believe I was there...wasn't I?

PE---HAR! Sarah's foreign language is moose talk.

Have I got the guy for you. Careful, he reads this blog...and he grows orchids...and he's in your time zone.

PENolan said...

I'm intrigued already

cartguyforever said...

Nobody is more self-centered!? I should inform you I accidentally stumbled on this entry - I thought I had clicked on the link to my own blog to re-read.

cartguyforever said...

By the way, hope all is well in your neck of the woods. And don't worry about Limbaugh - Obama has them reeling.

What's your take on North Korea's recent actions?

jadedj said...

cartguy (1)---OK, you deserve it more than I...take it with you.

cartguy (2)---you need to have this split-personality looked into. Good to hear from you...both of you.

Limbaugh - I don't think even Joe is taking him seriously.

N.K. - As Rodney Dangerfield used to say..."take 'em, they're yours." No, but seriously, and he should be taken...seriously, that is. The fruitcake factor alone should give us reason to be concerned. But, my God he is ridiculous looking.

cartguyforever said...

I could never take your award, sir! I humbly bow in your general direction. Yeah, I was curious what you thought about North Korea. It just seems random that out of the blue they would renounce the truce. I couldn't understand the timing of it. Why now? Why not ten years ago? Just seems strange and I was wondering what you thought.

I agree with your comments about his looks. I know you should never underestimate an enemy but it'd be damn hard to be a soldier in North Korea's military. How could you take orders from a guy with hair like that and keep a straight face? I have no discipline which is why I'd be a horrible soldier. Well, that's just one of millions of reasons why.

Doug said...

Congrats on inventing and winning the same award. It makes me want to make one up. I'll be in touch.

jadedj said...

cart---Who knows with that nut. Possibly it has to do with the fact that he is pushing 70 and wants to leave his mark on history. Black, admittedly, but blackness seems to be his forte.

Doug---It's flattering to get awards and recognition, but it occurred to me that, hell, anybody here can create an award...why not me. So, I did. Mine, of course is meaningless...well, a little...but I'm not suggesting others are also. It's just my farty farce side.

intelliwench said...

I was going to respond in Franch just to get your goat, but then I can't remember the French word for goat. Anyway, it (the word for 'goat')probably has one of those circumflex thingies in it, which I can't be bothered with.

Even if you ARE worth it.

Congratulations.

jadedj said...

intell---I don't know why you're worried about the circumflex stuff...they only do it to boy babies.

I am, aren't I.