Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Yak, yak, yak

So there was this little competition, in which I participated, over at That Blue Yak, which is owned by the infamous Dr Zibbs. The deal was to design a proper header for the blog. I can't show you what the old one looked like, because it is gone...replaced by THE new one. That would be the new one THAT IS NOT THE ONE I DESIGNED.

Before someone yells, SOUR GRAPES, SOUR GRAPES, NA-NA-NA-NA, let me clear this up. I accepted the call to help out a fellow blogger who apparently is designedly challenged...if not, er, crazy in the head---don't believe it, go read his blog. I submitted a design because I knew he had only to read my profile to find out that I am a graphic designer...and I was in fear of my life from this crazy person. Oh, you say, he must not be too loony in the cabeza...look at the 240,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, followers---that's 240 Sextillion---which in and of itself should tell you something. Soooooo, given that, how come he didn't have 240 Sextillion baited-breath header design aspirants...huh, huh, huh? Five is the number...five were submitted by four little people and a, gulp, winner. The prize? The honor of having one's design on a Superblog. Whaaaat is that? No palm grease, no nothing except...aggrandizement of Zibbs. Once again, Big Blog brings down the little people...a never ending story.

Now to the exciting part. I present here to you, my 21 zeros shy of a Sextillion followers, the header...THE header...which was shunned, and spat upon---OK, not spat...shat? This is the first time I've ever used that word...shat...SHAT, SHAT, SHAT...there.



My premise for my yakness header design:
There is not one shred of evidence that there is anywhere on the planet---this planet...not, Mongo, of a blue yak.


And especially that blue yak. Therefore, I threw out the idea of depicting a yak of any sort, particularly one tinted in Photoshop. I will not perpetrate this yak lie on the blog reading public...no matter how much money he DIDN'T offer. Did I mention, I undertook this for free?

It was at that moment of decision that I ran into a neatsy petesy lion in my animal files. It looked hungry. What better morsel than a yak? But, my dilemma was, I could not in good conscience put a yak in there...especially a BLUE one. So I substituted the "word" yak, and placed it in the lion's mouth. How apropos...there is no blue yak...it has been eaten...well almost.

I also felt it was time the blog reading public knew the truth...about the yak...the "blue" yak...and by extension, Dr Zibbs. The truth is the yak is...poky dotted. As is Zibbs, I suspect. No one has EVER actually seen a photo of him...including I believe, his wife. I do know this, he is not a blue yak...there aren't any.

Finally, I do hope everyone realizes that I farcical here, and that I have a great deal of admiration for Dr Whatshis. My hats are off to him for maintaining what must be a mind-bloggling, time consuming effort. I know I couldn't keep up with it...because I love my family...and they would kick me out if I spent as much time as he must on his blog. We make our choices friends...and in the end I know I will not be on my death bed muttering, "damn, I wish I had spent more time on my blog...and named it, That Poky Dotted Yak"

Just kidding Zibbs. Har, har. Really. No shit. Really. I mean it.

Anyone who would like to use this header---the REJECTED one---altered to fit your blog, with the animal or device of your choice...excepting vibrating thingamajigs and men's nipples...email me at:
thejadedj@yahoo.com

Seriously, my congrats to Mr. Condescending of somanylosers,the header designer choice of yaks everywhere . It is an awesome header...as is the one on his blog. And, as is his blog. Check it out.

22 comments:

Dominica said...

Wow ! Truly a great header !! Like the yak head ...the more headers I see, the better they get ! Hopefully he will use each and every one of them in time !

tristan said...

Art is never truly appreciated by the masses until either the artist is

a)dead, in which case, you wouldn't know it, or
b)recognized by someone important, popular or otherwise influential.

So, what if you are is
a) appreciated while you are still alive, and
b) by someone who is not important, popular or otherwise influential?

Yeah, that would be me. Love the design, and the entire blog, the entire contents of which I have just read.

I write much like you design: from my heart and soul. I have entered writing contests only to lose to someone more popular, with more followers, more tweety things, buttons and badges on the website, etc.

Please continue to express yourself through your graphic design. It is being seen, it is being appreciated. Or else how would explain me...?

Tristan

tristan said...

scoooze me....wrote my comment on half a cup of coffee.

line should read: "So, what if your art is...?"

now, mas cafe'

jadedj said...

Dominica---ah, gee, shucks. Thank you. You're right, they were all a great effort, and of course only one could be chosen. It's all a matter of taste.

tristan---double, ah, gee, shucks. Wow. And, I kind of liked, "what if you are is". It's quite profound if you think about it. Right in there with, I think, therefore I am.

What if you are, is? Yeah, I like it...can I steal it?

Mucho mas cafe' por mi, methinks.

Punch said...

Dominica... Your are right about headers the more you see the better they get,

but yo, JadedJ...While your graphics are quite good, i would suggest you work under a very good and very patience art director.

Be ready for something like this:

"A convenient lion, yeah that's the ticket! A goddamn LION? for crying out loud, A FUCKIN' lion, Jezzz mi knezzzz, get me a blue fucking yak! now!
NO damnit, not a yak fuckin' himself blue, a blue goddamn yak for the fuckin' header."

"Hey how 'bout lunch, found a great new place called Dr. Ribbs? Might be a client."

tristan... firt off how is isolde? and JJ is correct about 'what if you are is".
“I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones.” john peel, (a not so famous dead guy.)

with apoligies to all who might take offence.

Xanadu said...

I like that top one. Awesome! Hugs.

jadedj said...

Punch---fuck an art director...I was one and they don't know jackshit. Incidentally, you wouldn't know this, but one of the parameters was, a blue yak, or a scranny yak, or any kind of yak, wasn't necessary if we didn't want to put it in.

You are and is bro.

BTW---we have a fence, but it doesn't keep out the raft rift. Know what I mean.

X---thanks...so do I :)

Punch said...

tristan.. firSt let me 'splane, it was on honest mistake. I did not know!

To witt: firt
Indefinite insult, often used in horrible rap battles on YouTube and Ebaum's to describe someone who is cartoonish, or has cartoon-like qualities. It is unknown whether or not it will offend the person it is said to.

Ahh you see that part about not knowing "whether or not it will offend" That's me brother, love and light and ALL like that there and let's you and me and JadedJ have lunch sometime. Place of your choice. JadedJ it's free

Xanadu, it is a nice graphic. I like the Blue Yak in the background

Punch said...

Tongue-in-cheek is a term used to refer to humor in which a statement, or an entire fictional work, is not meant to be taken seriously, but its sarcasm is subtle. The origin of its usage comes from when Spanish minstrels would perform for various dukes in the 18th century; these dukes would silently chastise the silliness of the minstrel's performances by placing their tongue firmly to the side of their cheek. The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as "Ironic, slyly humorous; not meant to be taken seriously".

Jennifer and Sandi said...

Nice! I love it! I hope Dr. Z puts your up on his rotation.

Have a super Wednesday!

- Jennifer

becomingkate said...

I would have liked tyhe letters to have the same font, but otherwise it's very nice :)

becomingkate said...

Damn typos

jadedj said...

Punch---you are always the firt to clear things up.

Sooooo, you are telling me that...YOU...will treat three people to lunch at Le Meritage at the Maison Dupuy, in New Orleans (Narlins to you)?

J&S---Thank you very much. He will. I happen to have some very incrimination photos he would NOT like to see posted on the web. In fact, I'll bet he is reconsidering his decision at this very moment.

becoming---*Big Smile* They are the same fonts...just treated differently. *More Biiiiiig Smile*

Damn typos indeed...and their cousins, hippos.

Vic said...

Hey, I like it!

(I went with the obvious blue yak because I'm a literal girl some days.)

And you have a design background! No wonder it came out so well.

It's nice to meet you.

Doug said...

Golly. I wouldn't know what to do with a designer-designed blog banner. I mean, everything at my blog is so amateur, it would seem like a waste of a pro banner ;-)

I like yours. I like subtle.

intelliwench said...

You can design a banner for moi, j. The test pattern is pretty lame. Of course my blog certainly doesn't carry the same prestige as Dr. Yak's. But mine has more je ne sais quois.

(I know it's not Sunday. But it's still a big church night here in Bubbaville.)

jadedj said...

Vic---I like people who like what I do...whatever that is. Nothing wrong with holding on to the blue yak literalness. Some of my best friends are blue...but they are aliens...not yaks.

You must be a rare individual, because most people avoid me...and certainly don't think it's nice to meet me. My children for example. And my mama. My mama thinks I should join Elvis...and his mama.

Did I mention to anyone that I actually SAW Elvis on Zibbs blog? In his new header. On a yak. Coincidence?

Doug---see, if you were at all a self-aggrandizing kind of guy, you would put out the call for FREE header designs, for you blog.

And in all seriousness...your photos ARE NOT AMATEURISH...nor are your ideas.

If you want a header, I would be more than glad to do that. And don't feel that you have to do that either.

jadedj said...

intell---I am humbled by your request. Of course I will. Ahem, I know not what...though---oh if my ex Franchy other could hear me now.

Give my Wednesday night regards to Jesus Bubbas. That always pissed me off when I was a Southern Baptist kid, having to go to those damned meetings on Wednesday nights. Get out of school, have dinner, go to the ferking meeting, to bed, back to school. The dumbest fricking idea EVER.

Dr Zibbs said...

Great header.

And I know you're kidding.

jadedj said...

Dr Zibbs---it was a great roll while it lasted, eh? Thanks.

taxitalk said...

20 comments
that's a super blog
How do you manipulate the blog?
Man I have a New url I want to upload my blog to the server
see
I need free advice screw the yak

jadedj said...

taxi---Hey, thanks for stopping by. As to comment, if you look at my past posts, mostly in the 10 - 12 comment range...on a good day. Only because it was about yakky, did I get this many.

Check this out and bookmark it. The Blog Doctor. The guy knows his smoke. Whatever your question, it's probably there...good luck.

http://www.blogdoctor.me/2009/02/full-sitemap-of-blog-doctor.html