Saturday, June 20, 2009

Yep, it's real

Necessity is the mother of invention...or not.

Be warned the following is disgusting. You may not want to watch while eating, on your first date, at whatever religious service you attend, or with the volume turned up while in a public place.

OK, my comments after the video are equally disgusting. Just warning you.

I like to call it the Shit Stick.

What's next...a feminine hygiene product puller?

Yes indeed, maintain your dignity while someone else wipes your ass. And hotdamn, as an added bonus, that suction cup thing. Good for keeping cut-out glass in home windows from crashing to the floor and alerting homeowners to the fact that you are burglarizing them. All you felons out there who have trouble wiping your ass, take note.

And then there's the testimonial from the "large" guy. Being a "large" guy has it's disadvantages (translate: I am a fat ass who can't reach my ass so I go around without completing the job...and that's why people avoid me, and point at me in whispered voices, so this half yard stick is going to get my life back on track).

Did anyone else noticed that the woman wipes her ass and then wipes her back. I'm thinking this product is so versatile that you could even brush you teeth with it. Clean the toilet...wash the dog...baste BBQ sauce on the steaks...unlimited.

One other thing. The price is the same as a few thousand other products I've seen advertised on late night T.V. You know, where they throw in other useless products, which ARE NOT sold in stores because NO ONE WOULD BUY THEM...those products...all for the unbelievable price of $19.99, but are actually worth $3,000 if bought separately.

I'm not even sure the slime ball, obnoxious OxiClean guy, Bill Mays, would stoop this low.

Oh lordy, please tell me I'm not getting one of these for Father's Day.


Punch said...

There has to be a limit. Screw Alfredo Garcia, bring Me the head of this ad agency.

Doug said...

OK, we won't tell you.

That looks harder to use than just using your hand. Not even an animation to show you how to use it. I'm sure this product wipes the, um, floor with all those other asscessories.

Mr. Charleston said...

Damn. Thanks JJ. All this time I've been using it upside down.

PENolan said...

And I thought it was a vibrator!

jadedj said...

Punch---I believe Garcia was low in the peckin(pah) order of the agency.

Doug---thanks. Well, you don't have to do it...just get your friends to do it.

Mr. C---So, that was you giving the testimonial, eh.

PE---It used to's been recycled.

the walking man said...

I had to google this to make sure it wasn't something from Onion.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

I hope I get a dozen of them for father's day. Being an asshole I would wear them out fast. I would also carefully open the packaging so as to be able to re-gift them after I wore them out.

The Peach Tart said...

I don't even know what to say about this one. I'm still suck on the advantages of another 18 inches.

Mr. Charleston said...


The 18 inch thing is what gives it away as a scam. We seem to be assailed of late by advertisements, replete with personal testimonials, that "thicker is better." And, if you order today, you'll also get a free measuring tool.

Fancy Schmancy said...

I'm all set, thanks.

jadedj said...

Walking man---a gross for the gross, methinks.

Peach---See PENolans comment...har har har

Mr. C---I'm thinking the 18" is for the friend or nurse's sake.

Fancy---how did I know that already?

becomingkate said...

I thought I'd be disgusted, but to be honest I thought my dad could use one. He just hip surgery and isn't allowed to pivot at all, or put his socks on. I bet this would be good for seniors.

jadedj said...

kate---well crap, now I feel bad for my smartassery. You are probably right about the senior idea, and I apologize to your dad. That being said...I dunno, I still find it a bit on the edge.

The Plashing Vole said...

What's that line from the Simpsons, when Lisa imagines her obese future? ''Ah wash maself with a rag on a stick"

jadedj said...

Plashing---ok, I've been out-disgusted :)

intelliwench said...

So, dingleberries are now on the endangered species list?

Jaded, as long as you're reporting on matters of personal hygeine, I think you need to comment on this:

Out of time, and out of my mind.... - iWench

jadedj said...

i---ok, Plashing has been out-disgusted.

Watched I can safely proceed. Thanks for the info.

intelliwench said...

You're welcome :-) On both counts.