Sunday, August 30, 2009

If I Were Jesus


NOTICE-THIS IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY TONGUE-IN-CHEEK BLOG.

A hypothetical post. To be continued in the tomorrowafter. Cometh thee back theneth. I needeth sleepeth...and watered down wineth.

ADDENDUM(ETH):

I wouldeth forbideth toast...even on Fridays.
I wouldeth forbideth toasters to haveth plugs.
I wouldeth not eat toast.

I wouldeth turn the Indian Ocean into red wine...Merlot, 1956.

Dideth you expecteth a serious post? Har.

Oh...another view...cross-eyed black bear?

25 comments:

Holte Ender said...

Hmm Burned cheese on toast. I'm hungry.

themom said...

nighteth, nighteth! :)

Simon said...

Well, isn’t it part of the Eucharist? Jesus asking that his believers should eat his flesh in memory of him?

Mr. Charleston said...

If you look very closely at the top of the toast you can see baby Jesus as a fetus!!!! Holy toast!

jadedj said...

Holte---Wholy Cheese!

mom---ain't that just like a mom.

Simon---I fail to see what Australian trees have to do with F,S & HG. Also, you forgot about the bloooood part, as in RED WINE, and DRINK! As they are wont to say over on Father Ted.

Mr. C---If you look even closer, you can see JJ throwing upeth.

intelliwench said...

I'm sorry, but it looks like Chevy Chase on toast to me.

jadedj said...

intell---perhaps you would like to see another perspective...added since your comment.

mo.stoneskin said...

That's definitely not Jesus. I think it might be Moses, or possibly Abraham. Get your Biblical faces right friend.

Mr. Charleston said...

Oh, my mistake. I thought JJ throwing uppith was what we were looking at. But now that I know what we're looking for... looks like Clint Eastwood to me.

jadedj said...

Mo.---would you believe Mary?

Mr. C---Actually, Clint was recently seen on a Jimmy Dean sausage patty. Sold for $8 grand on eBay.

Punch said...

Turneth the Indianeth Oceaneth intoeth wineth, Merlot 1956th andeth drinketh iteth beforeth goineht toeth bedeth.
Addendum(eth)#2th...(ahem) it's not toast. (read the title of the pic) jezz, my kneezz.
H.E....you have been lead astray.
themom...had the right idea.
Simon...and drink his blood.
Mr. C....you too have been lead astray.
BTW, if that is the baby Jesus as a fetus, then he is still in the womb and we are looking at Mary's...well nevermind.
Intelli...you are close, but my guess is Joe Cocker.
mo.stone...you could be right, 'bout the biblical faces and all, but what about famous living guys.
Mr.C....could be Gene Hackman, but i'm staying with Joe.
JadedJ...a link sausage with the torso of Sly Stallone was sold last year for a buck 95.

jadedj said...

Punch---OK, idjit. Let's go over this. Where, where, in my posteth did I say...state...claim, that the photo was of toast...that is, cooked breadeth. Where? Everyone else here knows the answer, but thee/thou/eth.

OK, the Indian Ocean thing...for Punch(eth) we'll make that gin...cheap gin. An ocean of gin. TAke a swim Ester.

H.E. was just hungry, and passing by, trying to be civil, unlike SOME of my visitors.

Don't you mess with mom...you've been warned about that before.

Simon is a foreign visitor, as is Mo, and they have BofQ immunity from idjitness.

Mr. C IS a stray.

Intell has survived 11 years in the wilds of Bubbaville, and will kick your sorry ass from here to sobersville. If she says she saw Chevy, then she SAW CHEVY.

Mr. C is still a stray.

Actually Sly Stallone sold for a Buck 95 last year...that's what the profit was for Rocky XXXIV. That didn't even pay for his man boob bra (Simon, I know he isn't Tom in leather, but are you paying attention to this?).

Punch said...

I wouldeth forbideth toast...even on Fridays.
I wouldeth forbideth toasters to haveth plugs.
I wouldeth not eat toast.
ADDENDUM(ETH):

SEEE Toast Toast eveneht oneth fridayseth.

No wonder themometh went nighteth nighteth.

Ahhh yes themom has crashed lets break out the gin. But you have to be very quiet and you gotta be ready to run.

Well Mr.C. is a stray cat, but he has two eyes and he don't peek in seafood stores. Anymore.

Intelli did see a Chevy, but was a a big block or small block, I'm sure it was a V8.
Could even have been blown.

jadedj said...

Punch---it DOETH NOT say the photographeth is of TOAST.

Chevy Chase is also a pretentious town in Marys Land, which is what I see in the PIZZA.

Punch said...

let's see now Idjit is that the word? Thanks for pointing out the photographeth is noteth ofeth toasteth.
Do you really think Mary's land has a blown V8?.

Doug said...

I see Jeff Daniels, which makes sense in light of the comments getting dumb and dumber, or is it drunk and drunker ha ha ha.

Punch said...

Oh, byeth theth wayeth, i'meth shureth you will cometh back and say ieth waseth wrongeth somehoweth abouteth the pizzeth.
Dan Quail would fit real welleth in thiseth conversatoneth.

themometh saideht lightseth outeth,
nighteth nighteth.

•A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"

Punch said...

Doug... did you mean Jack??? But the guy got 15 plus comments out of a peice of burnt pizza. Damn the pope can't get that kinda respect.

Doug said...

Punch, I really meant Jeff, costar of the movie about two dumb guys...

Lou said...

Did you eat it or put it on e-Bay? Could be worth a fortune.

jadedj said...

Punch, Doug, Jeff---My brain hurts. Dan, Jack, Bourbon, Pizza, Toast, Dumb.

Lou---Gave it to the cats...they sold it on eBay. They now live down south in a better part of town. Three bedrooms, three litter boxes, kitty kable TV, illegal live-in maid...unlimited catnip, the works.

diane said...

I was doing fine with the post, but after reading past the first 3 comments my eyeballs started to glaze over (eth). I can't believe people used to talk like that, thank god they don't any more.

the walking man said...

Thou shalt not worship false toasteth!

Chimp said...

If I were Jesus, I would have appeared as a pretzel to George Bush while he was sleeping-off a drinking binge and would have told him to invade Iraq. Ha, ha.

What? Jesus did? George did? You putting me on?

jadedj said...

diane---OMG, U R so rite!

wm---or pop tarteths.

Chimp---Wrong. Dick dideth.