Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Amsterdam or Bust!

NOTICE-THIS IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY TONGUE-IN-CHEEK BLOG.

I am considering moving to Amsterdam. Check this beer bike out. I'm thinking the best spot is on the rear. You would never see this in America. Americans are such square turd tight asses...this thing would be ticketed and banned in a burp.

35 comments:

PENolan said...

The back seat is absolutely the best spot.

Now, about our lady of the cheese toast - or was that Jesus Himself in the cheese toast (aka Cheezus)

Take a peek at Supersense and you can see Our Lady of the Insurance Company, Our Lady of the Underpass (which in my mind looks a lot like a pussy) and Our Lady of the Dog's Butt. Remarkable.

http://brucemhood.wordpress.com/2009/02/28/god-is-in-your-brain/

otin said...

Pot is legal there, also! (I am just saying...) lol

Lou said...

The couple of times I've been there for a weekend I found it hard to leave. Never saw one of these contraptions though.

the walking man said...

I'd go to Scotland because it wouldn't be beer and the seats would open up faster. Do you get a discount if you pedal or a higher price if you lift your feet and let the others do the work?

In America it would be some dude on a stolen bike pouring beer from a 40 oz. into a Styrofoam cup for $7 a pop.

Heidi Germanaus said...

Oy, I would love to visit Amsterdam! Particularly during the "Cannibus Cup"....uhh for no reason other than I find "High Times" to be an informative publication. hehehe.

Beer bike rocks!

Holte Ender said...

Been to Amsterdam several times, didn't mean to go more than once, but kept forgetting I had already been there.

jadedj said...

To all who commented---have a sick child this morning...later with responses.

Dedene said...

Sorry about your child. Hope he gets well for the first day of school.

Amsterdam is pretty awesome, but one can only party so much!

Doug said...

If the driver is sober, what's the problem in the US, aside from louts tossing their bottles/cans/cookies etc?

Hope your child is feeling better right away quick, jj.

jadedj said...

PE---Cheesus loves you.
Our Lady of the Underpass has been proven to be a blatant Georgia Okeefe copy.
The Lady of the Insurance Company looks like the Valdez Oil Spill to me.
And I am thinking Our Lady of the Dog's Butt is a...Dog's Butt.
Regarding the assertion that the Michelangelo Sistine Chapel painting is the moment when God bestowed Adam with intelligence. What intelligence? Adam would have been classified in the army as an ABC Zero. That is...a bit dense (and believe me, if the army labels you dense, you must be dense.) Who else but an ABC Zero would trust his wife in an orchard ALONE with a talking serpent? And then let her talk hubby into hiding from an "all-knowing" God, just because they suddenly knew they were naked.
Dense, dense, dense!

otin---I'm outta here. Brushing up on my Dutch. Que pasa, dude?

Lou---Possibly because of the other thing otin was speaking of?

wm---I'm thinking those pedals are actually pumping and priming the keg. The dude in the front is doing the propelling.

Styrofoam cup...that's free-enterprise, man. gotta love this fucking country.

High Heidi? Beer bike does indeed!

Dadene---thank you for your concern. She either has strep throat, or the new virus. We won't know until the culture results get back tomorrow or Friday. In any case, she's a pretty miserable little six-year old. Hate it when the little ones get sick.

Doug---being a bike guy, I thought you would like this one.
The problem with the U.S. is...the God thumpers got hold of it.

And thank you also for the concerns.

Chimp said...

The Dutch are one of the most liberal people in Europe with alcohol at 16 years, legal Acapulco Gold and all the legal sex you can afford. I would like to take Sarh Palin's church group for a vacation in Amsterdam. They would not return to Wasilla.

Mr. Charleston said...

The best part about this contraption is you work off the calories at the same time you're putting them on. That's perfect symmetry.

Hope kidling is OK. Funny thing about kids, they can run a 103 degree fever one minute and be completely over it the next.

jadedj said...

Chimp---You would do that to the Dutch?

Mr. C---All the more reason for me to go.

Thanks for the concern. Problem is, and of course she is only in kindergarten, but one local high school has 180 kids out with the H1N1 virus, confirmed. So, it is not quite as contained as we are being lead to believe.

becomingkate said...

I have always wanted to go there!

Enemy of the Republic said...

I am in agreement! I remember buying hashish in the outdoor cafes, rolling it up with tobacco and passing it around as the cops walked by and looked for real crimes. Ready to go when you are.

jadedj said...

kate---never too late.

EoR---Yeah, real crimes. Imagine that. We had front page news here just yesterday. They busted some poor smuck for growing the weed in his basement. Now listen to this. They had been doing electronic whatever, and stakeouts for weeks on this poor bastard. Even went through his electricity usage history. Meanwhile, the really badass druggies, the ones with no teeth and noses, meth makers/users, are out there stoned out of all reason, robbing and mugging half the damned town. Must have costs thousands of dollars to bust this guy, in overtime alone.

Punch said...

I hear they've got nice girls. Put them wayyy aahhhhead of riding 'round town with a bunch smelly men drink warm beer. After the girls I join EotR at an outdoor cafe and watch the police go by. yeah buddy.

Punch said...

too early in the morning for grammer.

jadedj said...

Punch---Sorry pal, Enemy has a date...find yer own socialist/red/pinko.

Mr. Charleston said...

Busting Schmucks for growing pot. The Law Enforcement Industrial Complex at work... with your money!

jadedj said...

Mr. C---I have no money.

Tom Harper said...

All right, Amsterdam. Nostalgia. I spent a week there, a long time ago. I assume those pot clubs are still there. The Paradisio was my favorite. The Melkweg was supposedly the "hippest" but there were too many obnoxious drug dealers hanging out there.

It's a beautiful city. Once you get away from the few areas where tourists and American hippies congregate, you can just get immersed in those back alleys and walking along the canals.

Distributorcap said...

i love amsterdam - like Tom said, once you get away from the american hangouts

and i took the heineken tour 3x

intelliwench said...

I'm more of a wine wagon gal, myself - but looks fun.

jadedj said...

Tom Harper---probably the pot clubs, and the same pot heads are still there.

Distributorcap---sans beer bike?

intell---a loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and a barge on a canal?

intelliwench said...

That would work.

the walking man said...

I would garner for myself the rear position. Remember the old Greek and Roman slave movies where all the guy in the back had to do was beat the drum to set the pace? I'd speed the tempo at the apex of the hill.

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jadedj said...

And the same to you, pal.

jadedj said...

WM---not you. The Chinese person. To you-but wasn't that guy whipped if he didn't get the beat fast enough?

Wizardress said...

haha you see those things all over the country. They are popular for bachelor parties. They are funny to see. They also have beer bikes which are bikes built for alot of people and have places for beer. :)

You see it all here- let me tell ya :)

Wizardress said...

Oh and in case you didn't know- I live a half hour from there. But I definitely didn't move her for the pot, tulips, women or beer. Just to clear that up haha

jadedj said...

Wizardress---I envy, envy, envy you, bier or no. And thanks for stopping by. Don't be a stranger.

Mr. Charleston said...

Alright, enough of this mamby-pamby, I Love The Dutch shit. I too have been to Amsterdam, albeit many years ago, and I too loved the place but I was a visitor, a tourist, seeking out the party places (which are few and tightly controlled). But I also know that while in some areas the Dutch are an open-minded and liberal people, overall they are one of the most conservative societies on earth. Don't believe me? Check out what it takes to immigrate or get a working visa.
I have several Dutch friends who got the hell out and moved to the U.S. because they got tired of living in a box with few opportunities.
They are no different than any other homogeneous society where everyone thinks and acts the same. All three of the Benelux countries are like that for that matter. Japan is an extreme example of an isolated society. Conform or get out.

jadedj said...

C---I think you need a vacation.