Tuesday, August 10, 2010

A tale of plastic...and batshittery

"I am not a good American...I prefer to form my own opinions" - George Carlin

This is a section post.

SECTION 1:

I read an excellent post at shewhoseeks, about her favorite comic books as a child. Of course the post reminded me of my favorite comic book...not Batman, or Superman, or Wonder Woman. No, it was a bit more on the edge character. His name was Plastic Man. And of course he had a comic relief sidekick whose name was Wozy Winks

The cool thing about Plastic Man was, he was adaptable. That is, he could change into whatever shape he wanted. One might sit down in a comfy chair, and it would turn out to be Plastic Man. Surprise, you crook you!



Plastic Man was originally a criminal, having had to live on the streets from age 10. His name was "Eel" O'Brian...and he was a normal human being...that is, he remained the same shape, no matter what.

Then, as fate would have it, as an adult, "Eel" and his gang went on a caper at a chemical works. They were surprised by the night watchman, and during the gang's escape, "Eel" was shot in the shoulder AND doused with a drum of un-named acid.

Wounded and dazed from the gunshot and the chemical, he ended up at the base of a mountain, where he was found unconscious by a monk. The monk nursed "Eel" back to health, even at one point deceiving the police who had traced "Eel" to the monastery. Why? Because the monk sensed an aura of good in "Eel". This act of the monk's impressed the crook to the extent that he swore off criminal activity forever. He oathed himself to do only good deeds from this point on.

However, turns out the chemical had a strange effect on "Eel" .

"He discovered that the acid had entered his bloodstream and caused a radical physical change. His body now had all of the properties of rubber, allowing him to stretch, bounce, and mold himself into any shape. He immediately determined to use his new abilities on the side of law and order, donning a red, black and yellow (later red and yellow) rubber costume and capturing criminals as Plastic Man."

The rest is history.

Except...he had a girlfriend...and she is the subject of Section 2 in this post.

SECTION 2:

Not many know of this girlfriend who also happened to have the same physical attribute as Plastic Man, and surprisingly enough, she went by the name of...Plastic Woman. Finding copies of old Plastic Man comic books is relatively easy on the Internet. But Plastic Woman is a bit more difficult. However, I did find one on Antiquesfortheeandme.com. It is the only copy known to exist. For some reason, no one wants to buy it.

The idea behind this particular edition is self-explanatory.

Amurica, you gotta love it.

For your enjoyment:


25 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Hahaha, thanks for the shout-out. I seem to recall Plastic Man too, but as an animated character on some TV cartoon or another? Or was there a Rubber Man rip-off of Plastic Man? In any event, no one wants Plastic Woman!

Doug said...

Her only trick seems to be floating to the top, like a turd.

jadedj said...

DSWS---Youse is a good influence on this blog.

Not so sure about Rubber Man, but I do know there was an animated TV thing about him.

Yep, and unlike Plastic Man, she adapts to what ever is the Koolaid of the moment, for personal gain.

Doug---Which is not really a trick is it? Any turd can be a super turd, with very little effort.

diane said...

You got me.

jadedj said...

diane---I got you?

Mr. Charleston said...

That acid is easily identified, it's called LSD. A little of that shit and you can bend into any shape you want, but who would expect a bloated snowbilly?

Chimp said...

I was a comic book reader as a kid. In fact, I learned how to read English by reading comic books as English was not my first language. Anywho, I did read Plastic Man but was more attuned to Flash, especially when one artist drew the comic so well.

I do believe Plastic Woman will run for President with Bachmann for VP with the slogan "S & M in 2012" (Sarah and Michelle) in black leather outfits with swastikas and White Supremacist logos on them.

jadedj said...

Mr. C---First...I know nothing. Second, a barrel of LSD?

Snowbilly is actually a parade balloon. Parading herself down America's Main Street. Later she will a change into whatever happens to be the opportunity shape of the moment. Batshit, meanwhile gives us comic relief.

jadedj said...

Chimp---OK, now they have my attention. Patten leather stilettoes?

Chimp said...

yes.....and...black latex...

Heidi Germanaus said...

Yeah...Plastic Man. I remember him. Highly under rated!!

Punch said...

I don't know what to say.

intelliwench said...

This is good stuff. I'm thinking I'll plan a day trip down to my nearest toxic waste site to try and get me some super powers!

jadedj said...

Chimp---None of that fake shit...real, he-manly leather.

Heidi---Overshadowed by big muscles.

Punch---Bat got your tongue?

intell---That's a stretch...vada boom!

Punch said...

Well, with this much batshit flying around there must be bats close by. Better off to keep one's mouth closed.

jadedj said...

Punch---You are a man of rare restraint when it comes to comicness.

Chimp said...

No, I meant plastic man wore black latex so he could stretch.....and do the shape thing...

jadedj said...

Chimp---Absolved.

Chimp said...

Wonder why the carcass of a dead animal smells so good and feels so good when turened into leather. Especially when tightly wrapped around a smooth, round firm....

Mr. Charleston said...

For Christ's sake! You guys need to get a job!

jadedj said...

Mr. C---And you need to resume taking those pills.

Punch said...

So, let's see now, Debra the Seeker, Heidi the Germanaus and Intelli the Wench?
What about them??
Are they already working?
Or do they get a free ride?
What would the Plastic Grizzly say?

jadedj said...

Punch---So, you agree...he needs to resume taking the mind-altering drugs, right?

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

uh oh...I was too busy reading H. Allan Smith to read comic books...what does that say about me?

jadedj said...

YDG---It says you probably have a better sense of humor than the rest of us. We were into killing and shit, you know.