Friday, December 3, 2010

Fire in the hole

"I am not a good American...I prefer to form my own opinions" - George Carlin

I love hot peppers, and by extension, hot food. I can't get enough spicy pain. I once happened by an Oriental pepper vendor's stall at a food fair and she was offering free peppers to anyone who could eat one of the displayed ones. I can't recall the variety of pepper, but I think it was a Thai one, which are butt-sucking hot. Anyway, I picked one up and ate it...completely. The expression of shock and awe on her face was worth the next day after effects of bung suffering I endured. Needless to say, I got some of the hottest, finest "fire in the hole" peppers I had ever eaten...for free.

At this point you need a tiny bit of technical data...whether you are interested or not: A pepper's hotness is rated according to a standard called, the Scoville scale.



A jalapeƱo pepper, for example, scores between 2,500 to 8,000 on the scale...and the hottest chilis (up to now), such as habaneros and nagas, have a rating of 200,000 or more. That will clear out your sinuses, and many other holey places that might need cleaning out. Thank ya Heyzeus!

All of this leads me to an article I read today. A pepper claiming to be the world's hottest. It is a cross-breed of three different species and it's developer calls it the Naga Viper. It's Scoville measure? 1,359,000.

It is said to have the ability to strip paint, and is even being looked into for development as a potential weapon.

A quote from the article I read on Yahoo:

It's inventor, Gerald Fowler -- who makes customers sign a waiver declaring that they're of sound mind and body before trying a Naga Viper-based curry -- insists that consuming the fiery chili does the body good.

"It numbs your tongue, then burns all the way down," he told the Daily Mall. "It can last an hour, and you just don't want to talk to anyone or do anything. But it's a marvelous endorphin rush. It makes you feel great."

The phrase, "fire in the hole", takes on a whole new meaning with this beauty.

28 comments:

Doug said...

Good old black pepper is hot enough for me. I have some paint stripper if I need it :-)

Sue said...

I can't do the peppers either. I hate Chi Chis restaurant and that disgusting Mexican food, UGH. The picture of all the peppers is pretty tho and a nice change from politics!

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

I love hot..hot hot hot..but that's too fecking hot for me.

jadedj said...

Doug---Coward.

Sue---Cowardette.

YD G---Hot Momma...no, Granny...sorry.

Sue said...

that's me! I don't want no burning bung hole...ouch

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Now that you know it exists, YOU MUST HAVE IT! See it over there -- the Naga Viper -- it's laughing at you, mocking you, taunting you. YOU MUST HAVE IT!

Looking forward to reading your blog post about it some day.

Mr. Charleston said...

Me too, but no photos, please.

I recall reading an article many years ago about a guy in Miami who developed bottom paint for boats with cayenne in it. For centuries boat paint contained massive amounts of poisonous lead so as to fend off barnacles and the like. I've never heard if the cayenne thing actually worked but it certainly sounds like a potential use for the Naga Viper.

intelliwench said...

Now you're talkin'! My favorite chocolate bar has chiles in it ;-)

jadedj said...

Sue---Har har har.

DSWS---I must, I must! However, there are some places where the Sun does not shine...and I do not go.

Mr. C---I'm thinking you might want to consider these for your squirrel-bird feeder problem. Rub a bit of the Viper juice on the top of the feeder. No more squirrels.

intell---My favorite chili peppers have chocolate in them.

jadedj said...

BTW Mr C, it was in Miami that I ate the Thai pepper. A possible connection?

Tom Harper said...

I love hot food too. I have a jar of Black Widow hot sauce. I don't remember what kind of chilis are in it. The first time I used it, I put one single droplet onto a homemade burrito and spread it around. It was sooo hot, it took me ten minutes to eat it, since I had to cough and blow my nose after every bite.

I read that Black Widow is the sixth or seventh hottest sauce in the world. I can't even imagine how much hotter the top five could be.

jadedj said...

Tom---I have never had Black Widow, so I looked it up. The pepper is Habanero and it's Scoville scale rating is 84,000. That is damned hot. But on the same page was a sauce named, Mad Dog 357. The 357 stands for 357,000 on the Scoville scale! I am very tempted. I'll get back to you.

Sue said...

One time I drank a bottle of Mad Dog. I was on the floor, couldn't get up and the husband took advantage of me when we got home...without my knowledge...does that count JJ??

diane said...

That is really and totally interesting, but I will never try it.
Cute Hubby and I cried through a curried chicken dinner in France once. One of the best meals I ever had, and as I recall, we had seconds.

boomer bob said...

Oh Jaded, you're my new bestest buddy. We need to ge together over some peppers and milk (no beer for me, I know better than that).

I have two very funny tales I must pass on here. Like you, I love heat. I once took third place in a chili cook-off simply because no one had ever tasted chili so hot that their toilet paper ignited the next morning. The endorphins that chili excited out of the body were literally like taking a Xanax. Peace and calm, sweat and pain all in the same moment. I saw God one day, I truly did and the weird thing is, I don't beleive in God.

Anyway – my blowhard brother-in-law, a real pussy, stopped by. He likes chips and salsa, you now the bullshit stuff from Pace. I keep many different hot sauces in the fridge, most are intended for cooking, adding some serious heat to food, one tiny drop at a time. This moron pulled out a bottle of Dave’s Insanity Sauce and poured it on a chip. He didn’t dip it, he poured it. I stopped him just as he was putting the chip into his mouth and warned him that the stuff on his chip wasn’t intended to be used as salsa. “Bob, I eat tons of hot things. There aint no hot sauce around that I haven’t tried” and with that he popped the chip into his mouth. The look on his face was worth every stupid, snyde remark he’d made to me for 30 + years. Sweat began pouring out of his head like he was a lawn sprinkler and the snot coming out of his nose made him look like a Yanomamo warrior that’d been inhaling Yopo. He had to go home he felt so bad. He doesn’t ask for hot sauce at my house any longer.

The other time, I was in St Petersburg FL. I’d wandered out onto a long pier and at the end of the pier was a specialty shop which sold only peppers and things made from peppers. In the store were some bottles of various sauces opened to “sample” on crackers. I knew what they were and was not about to sample any of them on crackers, a piece of cheese perhaps with more cheese to save your life, but no crackers. There was a couple in the store trying some stuff when they encountered the sauce samples. I stood back and was watching as the girl picked up a bottle of “Mad Dog 357 Ghost Pepper Sauce. As she looked at it, she turned to me for some reason and asked if I wanted to try it:

“Nope, don’t want to even smell it.”

“Ah c’mon, it can’t be that hot”

“Nope”

“Chicken shit”

“Yep”

She poured a very tiny spot of it on a cracker and took the cracker to her mouth

“That’s gonna hurt like hell lady” I said

”chicken shit”

“yep”

Within seconds after swallowing the cracker, she was literally gasping for air, crying and couldn’t stand in one place. Her boyfriend was worried as hell (and to tell the truth, so was I, but at least I was up to date in my CPR training and I truly thought I was going to have to use it). The idiot’s mouth was salivating so profusely she looked like she was pouring water out of her mouth. This went on for about five minutes until she began to recover. She and her boyfriend left the store; she was looking at nothing but the floor until they were out the door, saying nothing.

“Yep, I’m a chicken shit alright,” and when I leave her, I’ll be able to walk out the door dry and pain free. I wanted to catch up to her and tell her to bring cheese next time, but I had the feeling there wasn’t going to be a next time.

Punch said...

Not a topic for Sunday Morning. Nor Saturday night for that matter.
You have built images in my mind that will takes weeks to remove. Thanks pal.

Punch said...

Visible AFTER APPROVAL!@!!!!!
cOMMIE, pINKO,

Punch said...

A plague on you house.

jadedj said...

Sue---Wait a minute. You DRANK a bottle of Mad Dog? You drank a BOTTLE of Mad Dog? You drank a bottle of MAD DOG? You DRANK A BOTTLE OF MAD DOG??????? You should be dead. There's a name for taking advantage of dead people...especially without their knowledge.

diane---It's those seconds that spell trouble later.

boomer---Dave's Insanity Sauce is rated at 180,000 Scoville units, compared with 2,500-5,000 for Tabasco sauce. I've used it as you do, in foods...sparingly, as in one drop. I love idjit smart asses. They made life a wonderful experience sometimes.

The lady you encountered in the sauce shop ran slap dab up against the Law of Masochistic Irony...show your ass, and you might get it kicked.

I am not too sure the cheese would have helped with that stuff. It would have become Fondue of the mouth, methinks.

Punch---Consider me your weekend entertainment director. What else did you have to do?

Punch---OK, OK...I disarmed it. Bitch, bitch, bitch. But if you-know-who shows up over here, I'm re-arming it.

Punch---My house is rubbed down with Extract of Naga Viper. Bring on the pestilence!

Punch said...

You are so very kind.

boomer bob said...

Jaded - you might have an idea there for some eco-friendly pesticides. Man! Think of the ad slogans you could come up with.

Scorpions in your yard? Give'em a taste of their own sting with Jaded's send'em to the neighbor's yard pest control. We rid your yard of roaches, black widows, pigeons and rattle snakes with just a few simple drops. WARNING - whatever you do, don't eat the fucking daisies.

Chimp said...

When I first read the title, the image I had was a TSA screener doing a cavity search with something hot. After reading, I hope the screener washed his gloved hand of the Naga Viper pepper he just ate before doing the cavity search. Ouch!

Old Mexican saying: "Eating jalapeƱos
and hemorrhoids do not mix."

Local Mexican restaurant here has two pepper sauces: "Hot" and "Hell" no numerical rating.

jadedj said...

bb---I'm thinking you'd have to post a skull and crossbones at strategic locations on your property, however.

Chimp---Nay, nay, my friend...I think he would not be ABLE to do the search. Hmmmmmmmmmm.

Now that's some REAL Mexican food. No gringo Carlos O'kelly there dude.

jadedj said...

Punch---Oh, you made a comment also. Sorry bro, blame it on the peppers I had at lunch.

Kulkuri said...

A co-worker brought in some Thai peppers that were smaller than a pencil and several inches long. I bit off about 1/8 of an inch and could feel it a couple hours later. This was 30 years ago, I hope I can tolerate the hot peppers better now. Another co-worker I knew made his own hot sauce, the hottest being called Nuclear Waste. It was greenish-yellow, about what you'd expect nuclear waste to look like and almost as hot.

jadedj said...

Kulkuri---That would probably be the same tyhpe of Thai pepper I ate. It was brutal, but I've built up a high tolerance for it.

Nuclear Waste...I LIKE IT. Of course we know where the aftermath results of the blast will be.

Chimp said...

JJ, I think I finally solved the real cause of Global Warming. It's all your fault!!!

jadedj said...

Chimp---It was a clever ploy, wasn't it? HARHARHARHARHARHARHAR!