THEY ARE ALL TOO FERKEN FUNNY!!! Why would one stick a screw driver into a penis? Let's see. Screw is what a penis does. Driver? Owner of the penis? Use a screw driver to drive the penis to screw? Makes lots of sense to me!
Doug---It's just too damned hot to help...here, that is.
Chimp---Some things defy analysis, methinks.
YD G---I'm thinking you bear watching.
Sue---You and Chimp. Hmmmmmmmm.
DSWS---I can say, I have changed a whole gaggle of diapers in my time. Not once did I stick my hand down in there intentionally. The nose knows what it's doing.
Be Aware of Invisibility. See, this is a good one. As life progresses all men realize that one day all young, nubile and lovely women will not be able to see them. This is the invisibility I am most aware of.
Punch---In your case, for good damned reason, pal.
Me? Why just today, I was at the drive through of my pharmacy getting my old guy pills and a lovely ashen blond nubiler crossed the path of my vehicle and made eye contact with...nevermind.
intell---It is good that you have something to be saved from...maybe?
Btw, Ripper...Punch's cat...would not take kindly to a puppy in his domain. Several have disappeared in his neighborhood over the years. I'm not pointing fingers, mind you...but Punch trained that cat.
Intelli…thanks for the help. I can’t decide on a border collie or a shitzu. Don’t pay any attention to jadedj. Jadedj…I thought we had agreed to not talk about ‘Jack’ while I was trying to attract nubile aspects of our great country. I have tried to make it abundantly clear that all those dogs were in His territorial space. I apologized to the owner of the first one but the other 7 were on their own, ya know, having heard the yelps of the ones that had gone before. He gave them fair warning, what with the arched back and straight puffed tail and damn that banshee like hiss, but NOoooooo they just had to run up to him and bark right in his face. That first claw mark usually does the trick, if not I get back in the house.
Punch---Yes, but a puppy? My God man, a poor little cuddly furry big brown eyed puppy? What kind of monster have you created? I think you need to quit feeding that cat road kill.
I like the SUV commercial they used to show in which the family drives off across the bottom of the ocean, looking at the fish swimming past, and at the bottom of the screen they had to put a disclaimer "Do Not Attempt" or something, or some idiot would have driven his Explorer into the river to do the same thing. Idiots, they're everywhere you wanna be!
27 comments:
Illiterate? We can help!
THEY ARE ALL TOO FERKEN FUNNY!!! Why would one stick a screw driver into a penis? Let's see. Screw is what a penis does. Driver? Owner of the penis? Use a screw driver to drive the penis to screw? Makes lots of sense to me!
my mind? it is boggled.
thanks for the laughs!! I love the penis one too!
Hahahaha -- love the one about how to check a shitty diaper! People would only try it the wrong way ONCE!
Doug---It's just too damned hot to help...here, that is.
Chimp---Some things defy analysis, methinks.
YD G---I'm thinking you bear watching.
Sue---You and Chimp. Hmmmmmmmm.
DSWS---I can say, I have changed a whole gaggle of diapers in my time. Not once did I stick my hand down in there intentionally. The nose knows what it's doing.
And to think I was gonna snack on an iPod while wearing my hat on my foot.
Whooosh....dodged that bullet.
Bob---I am glad this was of service to you.
Alas, that's not the case with me...I'm going to have to start carrying my money in some other container.
Let them arrest me, but I will continue to practice my God-given right to feed animals from my mouth.
Tom---Me too! Well, as long as it is a she animal on two legs, with large...eyes...and calls me the Big Kahuna.
Be Aware of Invisibility. See, this is a good one. As life progresses all men realize that one day all young, nubile and lovely women will not be able to see them. This is the invisibility I am most aware of.
Punch---In your case, for good damned reason, pal.
Me? Why just today, I was at the drive through of my pharmacy getting my old guy pills and a lovely ashen blond nubiler crossed the path of my vehicle and made eye contact with...nevermind.
In spite of all the warnings, I don't really believe that anything will save us from ourselves.
(PS - @ Punch - get yourself a puppy. My ex got lots of attention when he'd take our dog out with him.)
intell---It is good that you have something to be saved from...maybe?
Btw, Ripper...Punch's cat...would not take kindly to a puppy in his domain. Several have disappeared in his neighborhood over the years. I'm not pointing fingers, mind you...but Punch trained that cat.
Intelli…thanks for the help. I can’t decide on a border collie or a shitzu. Don’t pay any attention to jadedj.
Jadedj…I thought we had agreed to not talk about ‘Jack’ while I was trying to attract nubile aspects of our great country. I have tried to make it abundantly clear that all those dogs were in His territorial space. I apologized to the owner of the first one but the other 7 were on their own, ya know, having heard the yelps of the ones that had gone before. He gave them fair warning, what with the arched back and straight puffed tail and damn that banshee like hiss, but NOoooooo they just had to run up to him and bark right in his face. That first claw mark usually does the trick, if not I get back in the house.
Punch---Yes, but a puppy? My God man, a poor little cuddly furry big brown eyed puppy? What kind of monster have you created? I think you need to quit feeding that cat road kill.
You and Yellowdog Granny sure know how to use images to tell us a story!
I stole the one about money and underwear.
Susan---Well that puts me in good company.
Susan---Whoa...you stole my money...and...undies?
great stuff; nothing funnier ...or more absurd.... than everyday life.
Harlequin---Yes. Although I suspect a couple of them were Photoshopped.
Best way I know on how to use a dollar bill: To wipe my butt and to buy a Senior Coffee at McDonald's.
If you can't stick 'em in your penis, what's the point?
I like the SUV commercial they used to show in which the family drives off across the bottom of the ocean, looking at the fish swimming past, and at the bottom of the screen they had to put a disclaimer "Do Not Attempt" or something, or some idiot would have driven his Explorer into the river to do the same thing.
Idiots, they're everywhere you wanna be!
Chimp---Note to self - Never accept a cup of coffee from Chimp.
Professor---It hurts to even discuss this.
squatlo---I think they are referring to the Eddie Bauer Edition...not the Jacques Cousteau Edition. Just guessing.
On that DANGER WATER IN THE POOL sign, was it because it was HARD water?
Chimp---It's a Washington D.C. pool. Leeches.
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