Because I can.
The "Texas ize douche bag" was not coined by me. Someone used that very accurate phrase on a blog I read in the last day or two. Unfortunately, I can't give credit where it is due because my brain sfartiness is in full operation today. It did give me the idea for the juxtaposition (not the fart...the phrase).
BTW, I do know that douche and bag are separate words...more brainfartiness (sic).