Thursday, December 6, 2012

So you think you have a tough job?

Thank your whatever...you could be a newspaper editor.

My "overworked" brother emailed these to me today...during the day...while at work...in his office...on the company computer...before lunch.

The smart ass remarks are mine, in case you thought otherwise.



Brilliant reporting!



So was the dad!




I think they miSSIed (sic) the point!




A court menage a trois?



Unless they're bunnies.




HA HA HA HA HA HA!




Don't read too much into this.




Oh yeah? Ask his wife...see what she has to say.




Man, if that had been a gorilla...
the guy would have been in real trouble.



Er...uh...hmmmm...well...




Did anyone tell Tiger Woods about this study?




This is so transparent.





Self-defense?





My money was on the mistress of the mid-night mercies.





Isn't that those thingies Spanish Lady Dancers use?





Well, there are still residuals from All In The Family.





Hear, hear!





An extravagance that is killing the bottom line!





The power of deduction leads to the road of recovery.
- Johnny Walker





Can't you see this reporter snickering while writing this headline?





Damn thing is...it was a home school.





No exceptions, by God!






I couldn't care less.





It'll stunt your growth, too.





Come on Sharon...give me a break..this is no coincidence. You fabricated and doubled up on those lead-ins...admit it!





Oh, I see.





How many days for, oh say,  a head-on collision?





Damn. Does the pope know about this?





Oh God...there are so many ways to go with this...and they didn't even mention Wun Hung Lo.





As does one's auto insurance premiums. Is there a connection?





Nothing beats good old fashioned police work.



Hot damn, I love me some Canadians!





Take away their cardboard boxes?





Ask any criminal lawyer...damned smart move.





As does Francisco Franco.





Soooooo, they're training to be...vada boom...Head Mistresses?



23 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Hahahahahaha, these are great! As are your snarky comments!

Harlequin said...

ha ha, hee hee, hoo hoo.
applause applause.
loved this. headlines and comments; made my night.

Doug said...

You have to wonder if the editors are asleep when these are printed, or if it's the editors doing it :-)
I would rather read a paper full of these than the stories.
Thanks, JJ!

intelliwench said...

That's news I can use!

the walking man said...

That is what editors do. Got to get you to pick it up so you'll pay for it. Sex ALWAYS sells eh?

jadedj said...

D S W S---Aha! You were on that joint committee, weren't you? You and Doug, I'm thinking.

Harlequin---I am happy to know it made you smile, dear one :)

Doug---I think your theory is correct...probably gets a little boring up there in the halls of news power.

itell---Yes indeedy...and these can be cut out and saved...instead of lining the bottom of your bird cage.

jadedj said...

w m---We passed in the day here a few minutes ago.

Hell yeah...works for me...sex, murder and fanatical religion.

the yellow fringe said...

Your overworked brother needs a raise.

Kulkuri said...

Sometimes you have to wonder about the editors that write the headlines. It's like they only think about how to make it short enough to fit, not whether or not it makes sense.

These are like Leno's headlines bit.

Beach Bum said...

"17 remain dead in morgue shooting spree"

Damn zombies make everything more confusing.

Tom Harper said...

ROTFLMAO.

I too was reminded of Jay Leno's headlines.

jadedj said...

yellow fringe---He does...the new keystroke program installed on his computer notwithstanding.

Kulkuri---Yep, horse sense died back yonder in the 80s, as I recall. They remind me of Leno too. I have no idea where these originated and I suppose they could have been Leno's.

Beach Bum---HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tom---OK...that's 3 votes for Leno. Little old lady in Pasadena with the bird cage...zero. Leno wins.

Leslie Parsley said...

LOL, LOL, LOL. Wonder if this is why newspapers are going belly up.

Demeur said...

Damn journalism school sure has gone down hill since I was in college.

jadedj said...

Leslie---I think they would sell more if we could count on headlines such as these. Maybe that's the plan ;-)

Demeur---Apparently they hire them right out of high school these days.

Pixel Peeper said...

These made for my laugh for the day!

Stuff like that happens when newspapers lay off the proofreaders...

jadedj said...

Pixel---I am glad you enjoyed them.

Ah yes, but is there any proof there are still readers?

BBC said...

Good ones..

jadedj said...

BBC---Wish I could take credit for finding them. Glad you enjoyed them.

squatlo said...

God, some of those are great!

Professor Chaos said...

As is Francisco Franco! Nice!

jadedj said...

squatlo---Yes sir...damn the torpedoes and roll the presses!

Professor Chaos---Aha...a vintage SNL fan. I am impressed that you picked up on that!

Sunny said...

Hi JJ ~ I have'nt been around reading/commenting for a long time. Just thought I'd pop in.

Oh my, you read like ChimpPlanet's clone !!
He would say the same as you did, LOL !
Have a safe, nice relaxing weekend,
Hugs, Sunny