Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Le Mans

Did I tell you about the older guy in a BMW sports car I saw a couple of weeks ago. His "vanity" tag read 205 MPH. He hauled ass by us, into our lane. Got to the red light, 002 seconds before we did. Sat there for the light. When it changed, he made a screeching 90 degree right turn, and was probably doing 203 mph about a half block into the turn. I can only think that he did it to dust my van, and prove a point. $20,000 vans are pissant slow pokers compared to $60,000 German sports cars. Damn, I never thought of that. I need to find another 40 grand, and trade my van bitch in.

When I see this sort of behavior, it is usually a 16-20 yr old mush brain with erection problems...too MANY erections. Bad enough, but just the way it is...they're getting their stupids out of their system. One can only hope they don't kill someone in the process. However, when I see a middle-aged asshole behaving the same way, I employ my imaginary mojo powers to the problem and envision an invisible 4' diameter powerpole...the type that DOESN'T collaspe. And I envision massive amounts of brain matter and blood all over the street...his.

My immediate conclusion is that he also has an erection problem...the opposite one of the teenager. One clue was, there was no obligatory hot babe in the passenger seat. Maybe he was on the way to pick her the street.

Before you attack me with, "he worked hard to attain this level of toyness, and you are just a sour grapes jealous, dickwad", let me interject another thought...WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A $60,000 CAR...SPORTS OR OTHERWISE? We have people in this country losing their homes---probably because of assholes who drive Beemer Sports Cars---we have people living in cardboard boxes...we have people losing their retirement funds, because of bad investments their Beemer advisors pushed on them...we have some damned serious problems which are probably going to get worse...and this penis obsessed shithead is driving around, flaunting his money making, or possibly, money stealing, abilities...breaking the speed laws to boot! Arrogant motherf***er.

Admittedly, I started this post in a lighthearted manner, and as I relived the incident, got madder and madder.


It WAS a good looking piece of machinery though (DO NOT MENTION MY EXTENSION THINGY).


Xanadu said...

Guys his age who do that are usually trying to re-capture their youth. Kind of like a mid-life crisis? Male menopause? Don't know what you want to call it, but they come across as rather pathetic, to me. Stick with your van, and act your age, dammit! lol. Hugs.

PENolan said...

That's why they call them Viagramobiles.

Doug said...

It must have been a middle age crisis that caused me to blow $450 on a bicycle. My $100 bike of doom was getting me to work, but it just did not look cool.

Moko said...


I get ya point. But I don't see why someone can't enjoy their gear just because others are struggling. Yeah, don't train fur seals to fetch your drinks, but I don't see why EVERYONE has to suffer cause some others are. Sounds a fraction communist Russia to me.

Arseholes exist on all levels, but if I get the chance to afford a Aston Martin my friend, I'm gonna get. Stiff shit if it offends. I won't screaming around corners like an arse and advertise they're a real twat, but I'll be the happiest little camper on the road.

No one NEEDS a 60G car, but if no one has been hurt in the process of affording it then why is it anyone elses business and FUCKED if I'd feel guilty about it.

On the flip side I'd help out those in need where I could. What do you do to help others?.

Soz for the rant.

Amanda said...


I fail to see how driving a $20k or $30k vehicle is considered "suffering".

the girl with a $5k Grand Prix

Moko said...


I fail to see where I said that. Hit 'CTRL F' and type in 'dickwad'. That paragraph covers it.

the dude with the $5k Commodore.

Simon said...

I’m sure I’d have reacted in just the same way as you did, as, until my present car (a £2000 Ford Fiesta) I had a series of Reliant three-wheelers with 700–850cc engines, and sneered at sports car drivers for much the same reasons.

However I have to ruefully admit that I was also a biker, and though this started as a cheaper alternative to cars, I ended up with a 150mph Yamaha FJ1100, so I can see it from both sides. No mid-life crisis, no penis extension, just the sheer buzz of speed, but not very responsible all the same. There again, I made a point of not burning off cars just to provoke the drivers – not very sensible if you’re on a bike and they’re in a two-tonne vehicle.

As to Moko’s point, well, I understand, but being more of a socialist I’m not entirely won over by the argument ‘If you’re rich, why should you subsidise the poor?’ philosophy. You can be sure that the fifty-something executive with the expensive sports car isn’t working a hundred times harder than the average bloke on a hundredth of his income. There’s a difference between moderation in top pay and a communist state – we ought to be able to get a reasonable middle ground.

uamada said...

to get to work every morning i have the good fortune of driving through one of my fair cities richest suburbs, most mornings i am the nissan pulsar stuck in a queue of $200000 cayennes and various other European AWD's driven by preened and primped milf's dropping off trustfund junior to school or daycare. The only off road activity these cars will see is pulling into the driveway after going to the hairdresser and coffee with the girls. This morning of these one skilled wonders (guess what their one skill is)decided to travel 1 foot behind me while talking on the phone and arguing with the brats in the back. For most of the trip all i could see was the black horse logo looming in my hatch window. Thankfully she decided to leave the road before i ran into her with the back of my car while driving fowards, if that had happened i probably would have ended up going to jail for ever.
timely post for me this one

becomingkate said...

Well, my truck was about $39,000 (Nissan Xterra) and I didn't NEED it, although I did WANT it. I figured that since I'd never been able to pick out a vehicle before (S.O.'s always did) I had the right because I was going to make good money. Unfortunately, I am NOT making money and believe me, we suffer as a family sometimes because the truck payment steals the grocery money.

Anyway, about the asshole. I think he was on my street the other day!

intelliwench said...

I don't have as much of a problem with the Beemer guys doing triple-digit speeds as I do with the geezers who buy equally expensive GM toys (Corvettes) and then don't drive over 50mph. Especially when I'm stuck behind them in a no passing zone.

(And I think Doug may need an intervention if he keeps ramping up his lifestyle so extravagantly!)

Scope said...

My father always asked the question, "Why be in a hurry to get to a red light?"

jadedj said...

Scope---especially since the person you whizzed by got there 3 seconds after you did. Very good advice, methinks. Far too much rushing about in our lives.

belton said...

love the graphic, your the man

Punch said...

So let's talk about Le Mans, it is June 13, 2009, Peugeot and Acura with the Desiel V10 will be setting the pace. BMWs and Vettes will be running like bitchs in heat trying to keep up. Ferrari will be sniffing the pup all the way. You in your van if you govern your resorces can win a place on the podium. The first part of winning a race is to finish the race. Dickheads blowing fuel to get to a stop light and burn the brakes and the get on the fuel with a tight right hander will use fuel, brakes, tires and stress on the suspension. Let that dog hunt, you will pass him licking his balls a few hours down the raod. After all it is a 24 hour race. Damn son, slow down we have to last 24 hours. And that desiel sounds like a sewing machine. Pray for a failure of some really inexpensive part. Just ask Dan Gurney and AJ. Those boys humped that fucking Ford GT40 to history. Fix Or Repair Daily. and they are still in business. Dan was right, and Carroll hump a Ford, call her Shelby and stand on it.

jadedj said...

Well, crap. For some reason the replies I posted over a week ago, to everyone's comments, isn't here. I'll try to recreate them.

It would seem this opened a can of worms for at least one visitor.

Xanadu---I'm thinking it isn't a crisis, it's self-denial.

PENolan---Har har har.

Doug---no bimbo seat, though.

Moko---let 'em eat cake, eh? Not sure about the
Commie comment. But, hell, can't be too careful, they're out there...Joe McCarthy proved that.

Amanda---can I interest you in a vanity It reads, FRU GAL.

Simon---but do you have a tatoo that reads "Born to Ride" and a leather jacket with skull and crossbones on the back, and more important the buttless black leather pants.

uamada----reverse penis extension, methinks.

becoming----Please tell me that you don't have a vanity plate...although, I DO have one for sale. Oh, and, that was ME on your street the other day.

Belton---I'm not half the man I used to be...if I were, I'd have taken a blow torch to the place. Can't remember who said that...but it stuck with me.

Belton---You have not seen my van, have you.

Punch said...

it's punch