Thursday, August 20, 2009

Sick, Sick, Sick

NOTICE-THIS IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY TONGUE-IN-CHEEK BLOG.

My wife, that is. My wife is potty sick. She pulls jokes on me such as, we're driving somewhere and she'll say, "wow, look at THAT", pointing in some direction. I always look...and usually it is something like, a very large ass dog, taking a very large ass dump. Or, I'll be sitting on the couch, or in my favorite chair looking the other way, and she'll say, "look", and I do, and there will be a cat's ass right in my face...tail up. I always get suckered in by her. And of course she howls. She now has our children doing this to me. Three sick females in this house..and one female cat's ass. Our two male cats are gay. Certain of it. But, hey, I'm not judging them

All of this is by way of sharing something with my blogger friends. A video sent to me by my wife. BE WARNED...I TOLD YOU ABOUT HER!



So, I ask her, "how does this work...you go on line and type in monkey peeing in his mouth...or, peeing monkey...or, disgusting peeing videos for my husband?" Stumbled on it she says, cackling.

I sent this to my brother. He claims there are more disgusting monkey videos on that site. I personally cannot vouch for that.

30 comments:

Lou said...

Ewwww that is one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen. Thanks for sharing though I must admit you did get adequate warning.

Lou said...

I mean give adequate warning.

iasa said...

Ha, that's too funny. And a good reminder to make sure your children don't get bored. No telling what you might walk in on.

The Peach Tart said...

Well this was a little disturbing even for me but funny in a twisted kind of way. It sounded like the audience was having a big time with it.

I love iasa's comment.

Dedene said...

Well, your wife certainly keeps your life interesting. Don't complain, she could love cooking shows!

Judy AKA Sunny said...

Haha, although it's disgusting! I agree with the above commenter...wife could love cooking shows, lol.

Enemy of the Republic said...

She could also love soap operas. It sounds like you have a wonderful soul mate.

Punch said...

And they gave you a fucking award, what the hell would have happened if they gave you a pissant award? Ya know, those things were the first into space from this planet.

jadedj said...

Lou---don't let one of those get near your new car.

iasa---hey, welcome over here into this madness. The children, yeah, but I AM tuned into, "hey, daddy, look over there". But for some reason, it doesn't register when my wife does it...more drama...fewer giggles, I guess.

Peach---I am shocked at your shockedness...and shocked that there is gambling going on in this establishment.

Dedene---I love cooking shows.

Judy AKA---Or Lifetime Movie Channel movies. My MiL loves that channel. Every time my 12 yr old spends the night with her, she comes home and tells us how glad she is that we don't watch Lifetime Movies.

EoR---Indeed she is...except for Bridezillas. Jesus, there is a program from hell.

Punch---Actually, diane, a very nice person, who gave me the award, and who does not deserve your obvious contempt for excellence, did mention the pissant thing, but in reference to possibly creating one for bloggers who are obtuse in execution of their so-called blogs. Your name came up repeatedly...and clearly.

BTW---You are a bit off on the space thing (what else is new). The first two monkeys, of which you speak, actually only obtained suborbital flight. The first animal to go into orbit, which is the litmus for space classification, was the Soviet dog Laika. I know of no videos with pissing in the mouth dogs, however...Soviet or otherwise.

Punch said...

that is spelled P.U.N.C.H.
Pickie, Pickie.

jadedj said...

Well, now that YOU bring it up, it's time to reveal what that stands for Pimping.Unclean.Nasty.Concupiscent.Hos.
Pickle, Pickle.

PENolan said...

Shaking head and wondering why I even come over here . . .
xo

Punch said...

concupiscent???
Pen...I ask myself the same question.

jadedj said...

PE---it's a philosophical thing. Intellectually, it works, but in your heart you loathe yourself.

Punch---do I have to do every thing for you?:
strong desire; especially : sexual desire.

In your case, it is probably best that you not ask yourself anything. You still won't know the answer.

diane said...

Punch, don't listen to him, it's just the voices in his head again. At least putting words in my mouth is better than piss. I have to go check my bored family members now, gotta go.

the walking man said...

Kind hard to blame an orangutan for being an orangutan but the wife is teaching the daughters to be female. Your place old man, is to be the black board of their learning.

ha ha ha ha ha can't wait until they come into their own and you get it not only from the two gay and one snob female cat, the wife but also the daughters...yesireebob! You are definitely the chalkboard of life.

Jon said...

do you think i could train my cat to do that when the inlaws come over???

intelliwench said...

This begs the question, "Is it better to have low standards, than no standards at all?"

Discuss.

jadedj said...

Jon---this works for cats, but be aware that it may encourage the in-laws to do the same.

intell---er, *shuffle, shuffle*, would this not depend on one's readership?

Mr. Charleston said...

If it depends on your readership... hummm... OK, no standards at all.

themom said...

OMG, I'm still deciding if this is funny or gross...OK it's both!! I love all those watching were like giggling and semi-wretching at the same time. Makes one (me) glad they don't study Yoga and avoid positions like that...LOL

jadedj said...

Mr. C---are you inferring that intelliwench has no standards? Or, are you applying that to yourself? Or, both?

You did watch it though, didn't you.

mom---no, it's disusting. I am having second thoughts about this one. What intrigues me is, someone actually stood there and TAPED IT. THAT is sick.

themom said...

Thanks for the "heads up" on the video flub. I played with the HTML (and haven't a clue what I am doing), but think it is allup and running. Fingers crossed!!

Harlequin said...

Marvelous-- I was born in the year of the monkey and had no idea I was in the company of such accomplished .... artists. Your wife is a hoot-- lucky you!

jadedj said...

mom---I was just over there...and, no soap. See my comments there. Sorry.

Harlequin---A hoot and a half...and disgusting.

MeanDonnaJean said...

I really like yer woman's warped sense o' humor. Kinda reminds me of someone I know ;-)

PENolan said...

I didn't even watch it. Intellectually I could see how it could be funny but I just didn't feel like watching an orangutan drink his own pee although now I wish I had watched it - but not badly enough to actually watch it. Intellectually, it seems like a valuable antidote to all the propaganda passing as news these days. Or an explanation for how corporate propagands got to be news . . . We are not men, we are DEVO.

jadedj said...

Mean----Hmmmmmm. Punch?

PE---It's not funny. It's gross. It's disgusting and base. But, I like to share my miseries with my friends. WATCH IT!

Are you suggesting that our news is not factual, fair and unbiased?

Christina said...

Omg, how funny picture of monkey doing the nasty into his mouth!
My Father, rest in peace, was surrounded by 4 women including my Mother, RIP, & one son.
He enjoyed his girls more, lol or so he said!!
Your wife sounds hilarious but watch turning your head while driving!!

jadedj said...

Christina---oh yeah, my wife is like a barrel of monkeys.