Tuesday, October 13, 2009
My friend Holte Ender who posts under the banner, Now Listen Here, has gone over the precipice of mental health and awarded me the Best Blog Award. It may also have something to do with alcohol, but I'm not sure.
Holte is one of the good eggs from across the puddle, who landed, and reclaimed his spot here in the land of B.O. Plenty (look it up dudes and dudettes), almost a quarter of a century ago. I'm thinking he's going to stay...and I hope so.
I just wanted to quickly acknowledge this and I'll return later with some names of my own for this award (bet that got you quivering in your booties, eh?).
Meanwhile for your entertainment, here are a few myths I have been meaning to debunk for quite some time. Many of these things were fed to me by my grandmother...Somebody rest her sole (sic). Feel free to add some of your own...from your grandmother, or whomever (I am trying desperately to bring grammar back into my grammar)...and it ain't easy.
I was shooting for 50, but fell asleep. So, here's twenty, my snooze mark:
A watched pot DOES boil...liars!
The Lone Ranger was not alone. However, he was in kemo. Sad, sad, story. Sabe?
Andy Warhol had MORE than 15 minutes of fame...and then he dropped dead. Bastard!
One WILL NOT go blind from whacking the willie. One goes blind from glazing upon graven images...such as...Rush Limplaughter.
A stitch in nine DOES NOT save a damned thing...more liars.
There is no crack of dawn...only the crack of your ass...and the whip...and er jack.
It is quite easy to tell one's ass from a hole in the ground. The hole in the ground is visible. Not to mention, the sun sometimes shines in there. This is an important thing to remember when you are looking for your ass.
Jaybirds are not naked. They live in Kansas...which NEVER undresses.
Jack Shit does not know me.
I know Jack Shit.
Freedom is not free. You have to have a BankAmerica Visa Card...at 23.9% pro-rated, compounded hourly...and sign over your first born sheep. Then you will be free. Ha!
STD has nothing to do with FTD. Just wanted to clear that up. Well, wait...fucking...flowers...hmmm.
If you run across one snake, there will be others close by. Most likely they are all Republicans.
Guns don't kill people. Bullshit.
Sarah Palin is a wonderful, warm human being. Har har har har har har har har har har har har!
Big business will take care of us. No comment.
Storks do not deliver babies...except in Alaska...where they are shot on sight...and eaten(the babies, not the storks)...by old people who are scheduled to become Soylent Green...fattens em up . It's a recently issued government decree.
One cannot get pregnant by sucking tongue...unless one is a female.
Jesus turned water into wine, up there on the Mount Sinus. What actually happened was, his disciples turned wine into pissy water after drinking many liters...of wine, (red, it was a meat night), during the course of celebrating the last supper. The story got totally turned around by Judas Priest.
Jadedj bought every award he was ever awarded. More no comment.
Posted by jadedj at 5:42 PM