they do have a way of cutting to the quick...the other half that is. God love them (honey, are you listening?).
Soooooooo...heading out the door, talking to my wife on the phone...find my wallet, put it in my hip pocket...find my car keys, in my hand...looking for...damn, what the hell did I do with it. "Let's have fish for dinner"..."OK, sure...hold on"..."damnit"..."what's wrong?"..."nothing, hold on"..."just tell me, I need to get off the phone, I have another call"..."just a minute, just a minute, this is serious"..."WHAT is serious? Will you just tell me, I NEED TO GET OFF THE PHONE...I DO HAVE A JOB TO PERFORM, YOU KNOW"..."crap, I can't find it"..."can't find what?"..."my fucking phone, Goddamnit!"...pause..."how did you call me?"..."Yes, fish sounds fine, honey."
26 comments:
Uh, I was gonna, uhh...
Tom---yep.
Chuckle. My case was a pair of sunglasses on my forehead.
Oh, and please.
Don't sit for a portrait befor coffee and a comb, in front of a mirror
Sounds like a good marriage to me.
I have done that, but only once. Maybe twice...
Classic.
We moved house over the weekend.
Yesterday I get a call from my wife, who is flustered and a bit panicky.
"Did you take the front door key?"
"Nope"
"What about the back door key?"
"Nope"
"Check your pockets, you MUST have the keys"
I paused for a second. Now wear could the keys be.
"Um, you DID check the key rack right? Where all the keys are on little hooks side by side with neat little labels identifying what unlocks what?"
What do you reckon. Had she even checked THE KEY RACK?!!!
I wish I had some incident like that to report but to be honest I am the one who was always called away from work or whatever to unlock the car, open the door, or bring the forgotten whatever. Leaving the house is about the only time I am truly organized.
I used to be organized. But now, with a jabbering wife and three dogs trying to rush the door it sometimes takes two or three trips to finally retrieve everything. And I am guilty of trying to find the cell while talking on it. Usually after a martini or two.
Punch---I DID have coffee and brushed my hair...assholeo.
Holte---The secret is knowing that no means yes...yes means no...and never, ever give an opinion which involves, make up, hairdo, clothing, or weight. Ever.
Doug---You do know this tale is a piece of fiction, don't you? OK, I'm lying.
Mo.---Usually it is my wife that has these brain farts, or loses her keys, credit card, phone. I have a place for my keys, my wallet, my phone and anything else I might leave the house with. That is why this particular incident was so ferking poignant...to her.
Hitting the light switch over and over while looking for candles because the electricity is off. Idiocy!
cortico---Har har har. I see.
How'd that side of crow taste with your fish, J?
intell---A bitter meal, indeed, wench.
Well... I am a gay man, but I am a spouse, & I want to say that if that happened to me, you would come home to a stinky raw fish on a beautifully set table & I would be out at dinner with friends.
Stephen---One person's stinky raw fish is another's sushi.
I'm with jadedj - turn the phone off and head to Sushi Manda, be it breakfast, lunch or dinner. There's nothing like a Kirin and some yellow tail with uni fo desert.
Now you're talking. And who was that lady you were speaking to this morning?
boomer bob---That was no lady, that was my wife...vada boom vada boom!
Better watch those "vada booms." They'll be accompanying you to the sofa tonight :-)
I just got back from a vacation. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
vada boom
boomer bob---Now you tell me!
Punch---...take my mother-in-law...please.
I have tried to use my cell phone to change the channels and it took a while before I realized why it wasn't working.
Chimp---I had the same thing happen to me...found out I was holding my mouth wrong. Try scruwching it to the right next time.
and never, ever give an opinion which involves, make up, hairdo, clothing, or weight. Ever.
Oh, but JJ, dear, please do give such opinions -- and with abundance. Just remember to keep them always positive. As in, "Honey, your hair (dress, what-have-you) looks so lovely (hot, what-have-you) today."
Do it at least once a day and I guarantee you marital success in no time.
Elizabeth---Duly noted. And I am sending this advice to boomer bob as well.
it's ok... my past four years, since turning 50, have been a series of adventures like this. I seem to have developed the CRAFT disease: can't remember a f*#@ing thing.
but I am developing a much more refined and subtle sense of humour.
Harlequin---Har har har, CRAFT...I like that one!
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