Friday, July 9, 2010

Oh yeah...but what about the crunchy peanut butter?

NOTICE-THIS IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY TONGUE-IN-CHEEK BLOG.

There are dumb fucks, and numb nuts, and nitwits, and just plain ol' bat shit crazy people in this country. But the ones that put a burr in my jockeys the most, are those well-meaning, god-fearing, bible-thumping, bejesus, hot-damn, hallelujah Creationists.

Here is an example of their "logic"...which was actually, purposely, and unabashedly put on tape...by them.

The deal is, according to them...you need to believe in the word of God and the bible (albeit, written by men...but hey), and have faith in the creation of the earth and heavens in seven days by a mysterious, vengeful being...and...and also...the virgin birth, a resurrected three day old corpse, the jamming in a boat of two of every animal on earth, people getting turned into salt, an entire sea opening and providing a dry passage through to the "promised" land, and...not to mention, a woman that has not noticed that her mate is distinctly different than she...until a talking snake informs her of this fact.

Because, as they tell you right here on this video...evolution is a fairy tale. Hmmmmmmmm.

33 comments:

RealityZone said...

Far out.
I think this guy is on acid.

jadedj said...

RZ---I'm thinking a little acid would do this dope (har har har) a little good.

RealityZone said...

Ya but people really believe this guy.
Perhaps he should start out with a little reefer.:-)

Chimp said...

The man's example is some dead, roasted, pureed peanuts in a jar. Evolution has to do with life evolving from a fairly dumb chimp to a fairly dumb human. Possibly from a living tasteless peanut to a delicious one. The guy and the woman in the video may have evolved from the mashed peanuts in that jar as their brains are still mashed, not even crunchy!

Doug said...

I ignore creationists. The Easter Bunny (hah, I first typed Bubby, now there's something to expound on, but I digress) and Santa told me to.

Jerry Critter said...

I guess that is what "faith" is all about. You must have "faith" to believe is such god awful bullshit.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

i refuse to waste my time with people like that..lifes to fecking short

Sunny said...

WAAAAAA ! II'm not gonna eat any peanut butter all weekend ! I saw that ant crawling in the peanut butter. Contamination, but no evolution.

Hey JJ ! You and your family have a great weekend, okay ? :)

jadedj said...

RZ---Or a BIG reefer.

Chimp---Are you saying food additives screws his "theory"?

Doug---I happen to like the Easter Bubby, and Santa Clues also.

Jerry---And no charity.

YDG---Probably the best course. You have to admit though, they are a great source of amusement. I didn't even show you guys the Banana = Atheist's Nightmare...now there is a hoot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfv-Qn1M58I

jadedj said...

Sunny---You posted as I was posting :)

DO NOT go near the peanut butter!

Mr. Charleston said...

That does it! From here on out it's crunchy peanut butter for me. New life in every bite!

Chimp said...

Find out what brand of peanut butter this "nutter" eats to stay away from it. Maybe the peanut butter acts like a "creationist drug"? I'm sticking with smoking peanut shells!

intelliwench said...

So, what he's really saying is that aliens contaminated/populated earth. Or did I miss something....?

Nanu nanu.

RealityZone said...

Intelliwench:
If Aliens helped to populate the earth. We would probably not be as fucked up as we are.

Every day I await my own personal abduction.

We are not alone ! !

PENolan said...

RZ, I have been dreaming of being abducted by aliens lately, too. It seems the only way out of this mess.

As for Mr. Crunchy in the Video - sounds like he's working up to pitch Genetically Modified seeds for Monsanto before he moves on to The Master Race. If we're stuck with nothing ever evolving and growing, clearly someone needs to intervene, like bacteria, in our behalf. God, in his wisdom, has given that power to Karl Rove and Corporations.

RealityZone said...

PE:
If they do not return.
We are doomed.

corticoWhat said...

Check the jar in 130 million years dumbo!

PS. The first rule of logic: You cannot prove something does NOT exist.

jadedj said...

Mr. C---Hey, clever. I always suspected you of Madison Avenue origins. But, seriously...good one.

Chimp---Pretty sure it's the Peter Bejesus brand.

Hmmmmmm, smoking eh? I'll get back to you.

intell---Well I'm thinking he's actually talking about the Rapture (not to be confused with a raptor, which preys in a different way)...in which Jehosefat beams all those little suckers up...right out of their automobiles, and stuff like that there and all. So, in a sense you're on to something.

RZ---You are a person of rare insight and I agree.

Tricia---Yep. I too would seriously welcome a bit of intervention at this point.

As to Mr. Crunch Smiley...he IS a bacteria, of the hysteria genus (not to be confused with genius).

RZ---Are you speaking of the virus Rovewhoris?

corticoWhat---Well, unless it's in a forest and nobody is around...er, no, wait...it's the other way round...nevermind.

I do not think...therefore I ain't?

RealityZone said...

Re: "Rovewhoris"

ROFLMFAO

jadedj said...

RZ---This is good. We all need to roll on the floor more, methinks.

jadedj said...

RZ---And actually, I think that should be...Roveiwhoris.

tnlib said...

Guess I'll have to find another staple besides peanut butter. What can you say about morons like this? And what can you say about the nuts who swallow this crap?

jadedj said...

tnlib---Nuts are as nuts does? That's all I can say.

Tom Harper said...

What really gets me about the Fundies is, they claim the Bible is the divine word of God. Immutable!

And at the same time, there's a project under way (led by Phyllis Schafly's son) to rewrite the Bible and get that liberal bias out of it.

Is it just me, or are those 2 things a little contradictory?

jadedj said...

Tom---It's not just you...the whole fucking religion is contradictory.

Mr. Charleston said...

I was abducted by space aliens once. Everything was going just fine until I had to use the bathroom, which they didn't have. Dang! Had to crap on the rug. You would have thought it was the end of life as we know it. They immediately brought me back to earth and kicked me out. I'm telling you, those assholes have got no sense of humor what-so-ever.

jadedj said...

Mr. C---That is an interesting story, and leaves me with a rich mental image. I AM curious as to why there was a rug in an alien vehicle. Was it a shag? Minor point, for sure.

Perhaps you were actually in a pre-Rapture, Rapture vehicle preparing for 2012, and they were practicing on you. Your shating of course, could not be tolerated during a Rapture...I mean, can you imagine...all that shit flying about? This could be the source of their irritation. Which also raises another question...are there commodes and such in Heaven?

RealityZone said...

LOL RE "Rapture vehicle"

It must have been a high line model with the rug coming as an add on.

jadedj said...

RZ---No, it's true. They have a reproduction of it in the Creationist Museum over/down/up (depending on your physical orientation) in Kennnntucky.

BTW, I have life-long friends who live in Northern Kentucky, not far from the Creationist Museum. They are convinced that this is why no one ever comes to visit them.

They have options on the Rapture vehicle?

RealityZone said...

Only if you are sitting in the first class section.
Yes, heaven has a caste system.
Every one is dying to get a front row seat.

I will be wandering and watching from the cosmos.

Just a few days ago I read.

Religion is for the people that are afraid of hell.
Spirituality is for people that have been there.
As we used to say---been there done that--.

jadedj said...

RZ---My attitude regards the Rapture thing is...good riddance.

The hell you say!

Punch said...

Pre Rapture?
Are you and Mr. Chuck members of the Pre-Rapturelike brotherhood?
So god and a peanut carry a butter jar into a bar.
Bartender says "what's going on"
Jar says ask "Peter Pan and Jiffy", me? I'll take a Old Crow, straight, no chaser.

jadedj said...

Punch---Mr. C can speak for himself...sort of...well, blabber maybe.

Huh? I'll drink to that in a jiffy.