Friday, July 8, 2011

Hurry, this won't last

"I am not a good American...I prefer to form my own opinions" - George Carlin

This from Craigslist:

So my sister gave me this cello a couple years ago. It's a nice cello. Actually, it's a great cello. It's probably the best cello, but I don't really know much about cellos. Also the neck snapped off. Of the cello. So it's really more like 3/4's of a cello, but the other 1/4's still there, it's just not attached. It's kind of like you're getting two cellos, only one of them doesn't have a body and the other doesn't have a neck. But if you stand them up next to each other it's like old times. You could probably fix it with like some music glue or something like that.


She also gave me a cello bag that I can give to you too, now that I won't have a cello. It's a really nice cello bag. You can fit everything in it. Actually, there might even be a bow in the bag, I'm not sure. I don't want you to think that there's 100% a bow in the bag. It's way over there, I can't check right now. But if it's in there it's yours.

If you're like me and you don't know how to play the cello then you could use it as a coin bank. It's hollow and there are two S's on the front that you could drop the coins through. Then when it's filled up you could drop it off of your roof or carry it around like a change purse. Ooh, in the cello bag. It'd be like a cello purse. I'd do it but I'm moving across the country and it won't fit in my car. What else could you do with it. You could saw the front off and use it as a sled. Or give the neck to a baby as like a wizard stick for Christmas. Totally give this cello to someone for Christmas. Or Hanukkah.

Please come get it. I'm in Echo Park. I'd actually go somewhere to meet you if wherever we're going is a cool place. Like the desert or something.

I'm 90% certain the bow's in there.
  • Location: Echo Park
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
 I'm thinking a little duct tape would take care of this puppy...put you right back on the concert circuit.

25 comments:

Mr. Charleston said...

Seems to me you've got so many uses for it that you oughtta keep it and quit pestering your blog buddies.

jadedj said...

C---Uh, dude, it's not mine. It's an ad from Craigslist. The guy lives in Echo Park (L.A.), not Nebraska. As a college professor once told me...sometimes it helps to read the entire piece...to the end.

Mr. Charleston said...

Oh... my bad. Anyway, I've been feeling guilty about a snarky remark and was going to say it was pretty damned funny actually.

jadedj said...

C---So, does this mean you want the cello?

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

u and mr charleston crack me up

Doug said...

Is it a Botticello? Or maybe a Stradivariant of a Botticello? It's like a fiddle, but you might have trouble fitting it under your chin and reaching the low notes. Plus it's all busted and stuff. A bit of Elmer's Glue and some catgut (here, kitty, kitty) and it would be almost as good as well used.

Punch said...

I Botti Cello once.

Mr. Charleston said...

I've always wanted a cello, so I stole Punch's. He just doesn't know it yet.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Your sister sure is a one smart cookie to have unloaded a broken cello on you, you poor dumb sap.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Not you personally, of course. The poor dumb sap from Craigslist.

jadedj said...

YD G---Crack is the word most often associated with Mr. C.

Doug---The width of your knowledge is simply stunning, not to mention infinite.

Punch---As much as I hate to admit it...HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR...good one, Roy.

Mr. C---Be careful, he knows the Elderly Abuse Hotline number.

DSWS---Wait, this cello does not belong to Mr. C.

DSWS---Oh.

Chimp said...

I'd take it off your hands, but I finally learned how to play the mp3. I don't think I'd want to learn a new instrument. I'm really good at the mp3 now.

Chimp said...

A conductor and a cellist are standing in the middle of the road. Which one do you run over first, and why?


The conductor. Business before pleasure.

jadedj said...

Chimp---It's probably just as well...the cello does not plug in.

Chimp---Ha!

Sherry said...

Neat, a new coin purse. I wonder if this dude would think the Adirondacks was a neat place? Probably not, if he likes the desert, maybe the mountains give him nosebleeds? *sigh*

jadedj said...

Sherry---Hellofa lot of, or large coins, methinks.

I don't know, practically everyone in Southern Cal is from some place else. Maybe he's a displaced Adirondacker.

intelliwench said...

I think I'll contact that seller and see if he'd like to take a shot at re-writing my Match.com profile....

jadedj said...

intell---You have a cello?

Ol'Buzzard said...

I love jello
the Ol'Buzzard

jadedj said...

Ol'B---HAR! Even in two pieces?

Tom Harper said...

This is a perfect example of looking on the bright side. When your cello breaks, you've got two cellos.

Reminds me of Pete Townsend's enormous guitar collection. You know, since every time he breaks his guitar at the end of a concert, he's got 2 or 3 new guitars.

squatlo said...

I would have taken this in a heartbeat! Broken or not, it would be cool to have a cello around for conversation starters...

jadedj said...

Tom---And don't forget...a change purse, or sled.

Har har to Pete Townsend!

squatlo---yes indeed...not to mention a great pick up line. "Hey mama, want to come up and see my two part cello?"

FoxyMoron said...

Music glue? Where do I get some of that? My music often needs fixing.

jadedj said...

Foxy---They carry it at Office Depot...it's right next to Sticky Notes. Vada Boom!