Gas Attack!

From an article I read on RealAge:

"The average person passes gas about 14 times a day, and normally it doesn’t smell bad. But what about when it does?

Here’s one tip. Go easy on eggs, meat, beer, beans, and cauliflower. They all release nose-assaulting hydrogen sulfide when broken down by bacteria in the gut."

OK, so this is really a public service post. So sue me. If you are interested in more gaseous things and how to avoid them, and possibly save your job, or your marriage, or a really, really, really serious liaison with that person you met in the parking lot of Wal-Mart over the weekend...then go HERE.

If you already know all these anti-gaseous food facts...as I do...as my wife will NOT attest to...then maybe you would like to share one of your embarrassing opposite sex (or same sex, if that's your thing) gas attack stories with the rest of us...such as the one I'm not going to share with you now.

My mama didn't raise no fooooool. Do you seriously think I am going to relate to you embarrassing fart stories with other women other than my wife...in a place where her friends (and you who have twittered me know who you are) can read it and report to her that I contaminated the ozone with other women, in compromising situations?

Get a life, nose-assaulting hydrogen whores.

Some things you may not know

Ever notice that trivia thing over on the right of this blog? Well just in case you've been ignoring it, here are a few I've saved...with necessary photos.

Despite its reputation for being finicky, the average cat consumes about 127,750 calories a year, nearly 28 times its own weight in food, and the same amount again in liquids. In case you were wondering, cats cannot survive on a vegetarian diet.
Pictured here is a fat cat, the diet of which has caused it terrible fur problems:



Pop duo Ike and Tina Turner have been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame—but Sonny and Cher have not.
Maybe this explains why:




The indentation in the middle area between the nose and the upper lip is called the philtrum. Ancient Greeks considered this to be one of the body’s most erogenous zones.
Below is a photo of a contemporary Greek exploring his erogenous zones. Evidently he has forgotten the lessons of his antecedents.



Close to 20 percent of all adults living in the United States have had a cockroach living in their inner ear canal. The roach enters the ear while you sleep.
Look it up...Orkin...in the Yellow Pages...do. it. now!



Fashionable ladies of the sixteenth century thought it elegant to allow their pubic hair to grow as lengthy as possible. This way, it could be braided, pomaded, and embellished with bows and ribbons.


Did you really think I was going to post THAT photo here? You have to admit, it could do double duty.


The crocodile is surprisingly fast on land. If pursued by a crocodile, a person should run in a zigzag motion, for the crocodile has little or no ability to make sudden changes of direction.
Here is the result of one who only zigged.




The oyster is usually ambisexual. It begins life as a male, then becomes a female, then changes back to being a male, then back to female. It may go back and forth many times.
I found several examples of this phenomenon...this is the best:




During the height of the Y2K panic in 1999, the U.S. Federal Reserve released $200 billion to defend American banks from a mass cash withdrawal spurred by apocalyptic terror of computer crashes.
We have nothing to fear but broken money printing presses.



Residents of Hawaii outlive residents of all other states. Louisianans are the most prone in the United States to die an early death.
Due to frequent attacks by these creatures, maybe?



Elephants sleep only 2 hours a day and can remain standing after they die.
There is also a trivia fact about elephant farts. That was too disgusting. So here is a photo that could be any of these...a sleeping elephant...a dead elephant...or, a farting elephant. Your choice.


While technically the following is not a trivia fact, I included it because...well...I just like like the photo. My apologies to our Brit friends out there.