Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Man Who Would Save America

AKA...the man who would fool all of the people all of the time...if he could. How about you?



In dishonor of his "Save the honor of America" rally in D.C. today...or whatever the fuck it's called... here are some of his more well thought out quotes (the bold statements after the quote are mine...mine...mine, mofos):



It's a real blessing for me to tell you, sir, that cavalry has arrived - Fox is here!
Ready to slaugther the Indians, no doubt.

The most used phrase in my administration if I were to be President would be "What the hell you mean we're out of missiles?"
Itty Bitty Penis Diplomacy?

'You have the artwork of Mussolini there, here in New York at Rockefeller Plaza.''
—Glenn Beck, analyzing the artwork decorating Rockefeller Plaza, which he said contained a hammer and sickle, Glenn Beck show on FOX News Channel, Sept. 2, 2009.
Let's see...Mussolini = Founder of the Facist Party...Hammer and Sickle = communist Russia...yep, makes perfect sense, Glenn.

'God is giving a plan I think to me that is not really a plan. ... The problem is that I think the plan that the Lord would have us follow is hard for people to understand. ... Because of my track record with you who have been here for a long time. Because of my track record with you, I beg of you to help me get this message out, and I beg of you to pray for clarity on my part.''
—Glenn Beck, ''The Glenn Beck Program,'' April 20, 2010
That clears it up for me. Not so sure God understands though.

'I'm thinking about killing Michael Moore, and I'm wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it. ... No, I think I could. I think he could be looking me in the eye, you know, and I could just be choking the life out. Is this wrong?''
—Glenn Beck, responding to the question 'What would people do for $50 million?', 'The Glenn Beck Program,' May 17, 2005
Nope, not wrong at all Glenn. That's exactly what Jesus would do. No shit, dude...kill a liberal for Christ.

''I haven't seen Jesus and what he would do on a talk show on Fox, but I'm going to try.''
—Glenn Beck, FOX News Channel's Glenn Beck show, April 21, 2010
Uh huuuuuh. I see. Hmmmmm.

''Advocating through art is known as propaganda. You should look up the name Goebbels. ''
—Glenn Beck, on the National Endowment for the Arts, Fox News's Glenn Beck show, Nov. 3, 2009
Yes, that famous German Abstract Expressionist, er...Josef Goebbels. He did "The Scream", or some such shit based on one of those death camps, or like, you know.

''Fall to your knees and thank God for Fox News. Pray for Roger Ailes and Rupert Murdoch. Pray for them. Pray for strength and spine, and pray that everybody involved has chicken salad for lunch so it doesn't clog any body's arteries. Keep them going.''
—Glenn Beck, asking listeners to pray for Ailes and Murdoch because they protect Fox from ''the outside world,'' The Glenn Beck Program, May 27, 2010
Oh, fuck Glenn, I misunderstood...I misread...I prayed for chicken shit and massive lard...OH MY GOD!

''When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I'm just like, 'Oh shut up' I'm so sick of them because they're always complaining.''
—Glenn Beck on his radio show, Sept. 9, 2005
This is so fucking reprehensible that I am going to shut my mouth...shithead, asshole, motherfucking, son of a pig whore. Seriously, Glenn...eat shit and set yourself afire.

''Because if you are a white human that loves America and happens to be a Christian, forget about it, Jack.''
—Glenn Beck, whining about how everyone hates him, April 2, 2007
I thought it was get out the back Jack. Or, do it in the back door, Glenn. I can never remember these things.

''I went to the movie this weekend with a gun. And surprise, surprise, I didn't kill anybody!''
I have a suggestion of what to do with that weapon, Glenn.
Wait a minute...you went to the movies with a gun? A gun? Are you fucking kidding me? Have you been taking some of Rush's pain pills? You dumb fuck!

''You have three people in the White House that are in love with eugenics or whatever it is you would call it today. ... Please dear God, read history. Please dear God read the truth of what these people have said in their own words, and ask yourself this one question: Do you trust these people enough to give them control over who lives and who dies? Because that's what health care is when you have no other choice but to go to the state.''
—Glenn Beck, comparing health care reform to Nazi eugenics
I don't have a clue as to what the fuck he is saying here. Did God tell you to utter this batshit stuff, Glenn?

''I am not a polarizing guy.''
—Glenn Beck, to Jay Leno
Har! Nor a fear-monger. Or hate-merchant. Or charlatan. Or opportunist. Or very rich man, riding in a golden veeeeeeeeehicle by the name of Silver Cloud. Nope!

''I say on the air all time, 'if you take what I say as gospel, you're an idiot.''
—Glenn Beck, New York Times, March 29, 2009
The very first thing I have ever agreed with, Glenn baby.

And in closing, here then is a photo of a Rolls Royce, Silver Cloud model.


ADDENDUM...8/29/10:

Posting this in the comments and as an addendum to the post itself:

Today:

"I have a big fat mouth sometimes and I say things," Beck said during an interview with Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace.

The big fat mouth was referring to calling President Obama a racist last year.

Big fat mouth, Glenn? Really? Hey...stick a salami in it feces for brains!

29 comments:

Doug said...

To paraphrase I-don't-remember: I don't wish harm on anybody, but I'll laugh like a mofo if Beck dies before I do.

Heidi Germanaus said...

I hope his clan and Sharpton's clan clash in a retard bloodbath. Fewer of both types of these extremist idiots in the world wouldn't be bad at all.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

If Glenn wants to see Jesus on a talk show, he should just watch South Park.

Jerry Critter said...

I like these quotes of his:

"I could give a flying crap about the political process."

"We're an entertainment company,"

"I am so proud of the fact to tell you I am not a journalist, and I'm not proud because I hate journalists."

"This guy [Obama] is, I believe, a racist."

Glenn Beck - just part of the republican money machine that stir up hate and fear in people, and turns it into votes, votes against the very interests of the people voting.

boomer bob said...

Oh come on now!! We all know you're just trying to get refudiated in the back seat of that Silver Cloud by the naughty librarian.

"Please dear god!! PPPPLLLLLEASE"

boomer bob said...

BTW - that comment was not really planned, but brought to you by "devined providence;" devined in Napa and imbibed in Las Vegas

Punch said...

''Because if you are a white human that loves America and happens to be a Christian, forget about it, Jack.''
—Glenn Beck, whining about how everyone hates him, April 2, 2007

What are we supposed to forget about?
Him? Ronnie? Woodrow? Hoover?
Jefferson?
Just what IS the meaning of IT?
If we are for getting it,
just what are we getting it for?

jadedj said...

Doug---And if he doesn'?

Heidi---Think Gandhi...it is hate that has gotten us to this fucked up point. I for one am tired of the hate mongering.

DSWS---Har har har!

Jerry---Oh yeah...there are lots more. I just got tired and quit listing them.

Therein lies the tragedy...fools who don't know that they are fools.

boomer bob---I was telling a friend the other day that even though it has an Indian name, I have never seen even one Silver Cloud in Nebraska. Alas, there goes my librarian dreams.

boomer bob---That Napa divination visits these here digs as well, on occasion.

Punch---Yes indeedy...generic vagueness is the name of his game...not to mention dough. Even his so-called "historic" event, "Restore America"...what the fuck does that mean...restore what? To whom? Vague, vague, vague...deliberately. And of course, the clown element laps it up.

The other day I read somewhere an interview with a tea bagging, Beck loving 60 something guy. He said, I was too busy making a living and raising my family to pay much attention to history. But now Glenn Beck has explains it to me in terms I can understand, God bless Glenn Beck.

Now what do you do with a dope such as this? He'll never get it.

jadedj said...

Take out the has explains and leave explains. Jeez.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

Dear Goddess, Please..smite Glen Beck..thank you Jackie

diane said...

He's so stupid that it makes him really dangerous.
Seriously can't believe he took a gun into a movie.

jadedj said...

YDG---I like that word...smite. Feels good...feels right. Smite that smirking, sapsucker down, Smedley (that's my god's name...Smedley). Thanks for the suggestion.

diane---Yeah, scary isn't it. Think about the people who follow this jerkwad and think wow, he did, I can do it.

Tom Harper said...

"the man who would fool all of the people all of the time...if he could"

Beck's followers are the type of people who CAN be fooled all of the time.

jadedj said...

Tom---Thank you. This is an excellent point which totally escaped me...possibly because it's hard to believe.

jadedj said...

Posting this in the comments and as an addendum to the post itself:

Today:

"I have a big fat mouth sometimes and I say things," Beck said during an interview with Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace.

The big fat mouth was referring to calling President Obama a racist last year.

Big fat mouth, Glenn? Really? Hey...stick a salami in it feces for brains!

tnlib said...

"We all know you're just trying to get refudiated in the back seat of that Silver Cloud by the naughty librarian."

I was one hell of a naughty librarian. But sadly, never in a Silver Cloud. Maybe in my next life. Sigh . . .

Isn't this Beck ass a real nut case? And aren't all those followers of his blind and dumb? You betcha.

Sue said...

Love all the quotes! Hey did ya hear, Beck wore a bullet proof vest yeaterday. Wonder who scared the little penis man...Al Sharptons marchers maybe?? LOL!

jadedj said...

tnlib---That boomer bob, he's a baaaaaaad boy. As to the followers, escapees from the truths of life...i.e., THEY ARE FUCKING YOU OVER NUMBSKULLS!

Sue---Yeah, I noticed the goon squads protecting his loud mouth ass in the videos, as if he was the POTUS. I mean, wtf? This is where he wants to go...just be honest about it Glenn. He's so coy. Not!

Chimp said...

If any real journalist would have said what this racist asshole has said, they would be fired and thrown into prison or a looney bin!

Since FOX News is now labeled as an "entertainment" channel, he is supposed to be considered as funny as Jon Stewart.

If Hitler had a TV station, Glenn Beck would be his shining star.

It still amases me how Jesus Christ only speaks to Republican alcoholics like Bush and Beck. Jesus turning all that water into wine now makes sense to me.

Hallelujah!!!!~

Chimp said...

I wonder if Glenn Beck is auditioning to replace Pat Robertson. After all, the devil is knocking on Pat's door. Glenn would be a shoe-in for the 700 Club leader!

jadedj said...

Chimp---Oh no...wrong...those pissants aren't drinking wine from water, they are sipping 25 year old Chivas Regal, straight up.

Chimp---Glenn has his eyes set on something a little more serious, methinks. The White House.

Chimp said...

Can you imagine, Beck & Palin? If Diebold Voting Machine makers decides it's good for them, it's a done deal!

This time VP Palin will accidentaly shoot her son-in-law while moose-hunting on the White House lawn.

jadedj said...

Chimp---I have a friend who has a voodoo connection (no, he is not an economist), and he is taking care of the matter.

Wait...I thought they got all kissy wissy and made up, or was it pissy missy and broke up. My head spins with this family...which is it?

PENolan said...

Thought of you

Dumbest Shirts at the Beck Rally

Chimp said...

Thanks for the link, PENolan. I had to post it!

jadedj said...

Tricia---Thanks for the thought. I did see them yesterday. I hope everyone else takes a look.

Chimp---Made for you dude.

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUEzSI3Sh_A&feature=player_embedded

Kyle said...

Well, that was like a visit to wonderland. As scary, as it was fun.

jadedj said...

Anon---You watch it by yourself. Anons not allowed on this blog, pal/palette.

Kyle---It's a wonder all right. At least Michael Jackson had animals in his wonderland...and Disney has cool rides. Glenn baby...tears for fears is all ya gets.